Had an argument the other day with OH about our parenting strategies. We normally have quite reasonable discussions but this one escalated we were both angry, and he started yelling at me towering over , getting in my face. We ended the discussion and said let talk about it later. The argument was definitely both of our faults.
I asked him where this was coming from and he said it’s just an argument and when asked why he was doing that he insisted it’s just an argument. Then he said this was regularly how his parents argued , my FIL would yell a lot, punch and smash things, shout at my MIL for manipulating him, she would make snippy and defensive comments and (from his point of view) try to manipulate FIL into yelling again. We have been married over 6 years and I have never seen this side of him or my in laws so it shocked me. He has agreed it’s not a healthy way to argue etc but I am worrried that these were his role models and he has actually witnessed domestic abuse. He does not want to discuss it any further and I don’t think I really discussed it enough at the time he said it. I didn’t say I think that was domestic abuse. Would you bring this up again or wait for him to? In laws occasionally mind our children (although haven’t recently and live a while away, no plans to imminently but him and the older kids are visiting without me in a few weeks) so I’m concerned about that.