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Original poster

Man bitching about his wife to me

31 replies

Boredzebra · 30/03/2025 22:18

What does it mean if a man complains about his wife to you, Is it sometimes innocent? I am not interested in this man and think it’s a red flag anyway. But I am also out of touch and it might be normal thing to do?
I can give more details.

OP posts:
Clapometer · 30/03/2025 22:19

He’s a disloyal arsehole at best and at worst he’s fishing for an extramarital shag.

Springforwardatlast · 30/03/2025 22:22

It seems pretty obvious that he is a disloyal, unpleasant and unloving husband for a start.
Why would you want to listen to him sounding off about the woman who is supposed to be his life partner? Not an attractive look for him is it?

2025willbemytime · 30/03/2025 22:35

Oh come off it. You can be out of touch as in out of the dating game but everyone knows, should know, this is not acceptable behaviour.

BrokenLine · 30/03/2025 22:37

Why on earth would you sit there listening to someone complain about his wife?

Original poster
Boredzebra · 30/03/2025 23:11

BrokenLine · 30/03/2025 22:37

Why on earth would you sit there listening to someone complain about his wife?

hes my driving instructor

OP posts:
Original poster
Boredzebra · 30/03/2025 23:12

2025willbemytime · 30/03/2025 22:35

Oh come off it. You can be out of touch as in out of the dating game but everyone knows, should know, this is not acceptable behaviour.

I never said it was acceptable

OP posts:
marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 30/03/2025 23:25

Well I’m not surprised. The stories I’ve heard about driving instructors. Some of them are dodgy as hell. If he’s teaching you properly and you’re progressing, steer the conversation back to you. If not, get a woman instructor. I’ve found they’re better anyway.

InSpainTheRain · 30/03/2025 23:27

I would just say something like "I don't think I need to hear about that" I'd say it sharply. You'll probably only have to say it once. Or get a new instructor.

Meanwhile33 · 30/03/2025 23:28

Yuk. Get a new driving instructor.

BrokenLine · 30/03/2025 23:30

Boredzebra · 30/03/2025 23:11

hes my driving instructor

Show quote history

So what, though? He’s supposed to be teaching you, not moaning about his marriage. Why are you asking if it’s a sign of sexual interest?

suburberphobe · 30/03/2025 23:32

Find a new driving instructor. He's being totally unprofessional.

And yes, he's hoping to fuck you.

Original poster
Boredzebra · 30/03/2025 23:36

BrokenLine · 30/03/2025 23:30

So what, though? He’s supposed to be teaching you, not moaning about his marriage. Why are you asking if it’s a sign of sexual interest?

Show quote history

I got the feeling he is interested in me but I wanted to ask to see if my intuition was right. And it looks like it is

OP posts:
LUBAR · 30/03/2025 23:38

Out of curiosity, what's the rough age gap between the two of you?

EmeraldShamrock000 · 30/03/2025 23:43

Are you planning on shutting him now.
Sounds like a typical sleazy man laying down the groundwork to me.

Original poster
Boredzebra · 30/03/2025 23:50

LUBAR · 30/03/2025 23:38

Out of curiosity, what's the rough age gap between the two of you?

I don’t know how old he is. But he isn’t elderly. Maybe about 10 years?

OP posts:
Original poster
Boredzebra · 31/03/2025 00:12

I’ll tell him he resembles my dad next time I see him (he does)

OP posts:
Original poster
Boredzebra · 31/03/2025 00:44

I can’t change him I already paid and it would be awkward. I was going to say he looked like my dad to show him I’m put off him. But maybe that’s a bad idea so I won’t. I will behave differently and not be chatty. If you have any tips let me know

OP posts:
Topseyt123 · 31/03/2025 02:11

Boredzebra · 30/03/2025 23:11

hes my driving instructor

Show quote history

Get another driving instructor. You'd be asking for trouble going out with this sleazeball again.

You've already got the feeling that he fancies you and you know that he is disloyal (at best) to his wife. As others have said, he seems to be out for an extramarital shag. Do NOT get back into the car with him in case he makes a move on you and pushes it further.

How many lessons have you paid for upfront? Phone him to cancel them (telling him bluntly why) and ask for your money back. If he doesn't give it then you will still have to walk away, but find out about any professional bodies that he may be a member of and report him that way.

You may well not be the only female client he has done this to.

DO NOT GET BACK INTO THE CAR WITH HIM. You put yourself at risk if you do.

singlewhitetrashheap · 31/03/2025 02:15

Boredzebra · 30/03/2025 23:11

hes my driving instructor

Show quote history

That's not only offensive, but it's massively unprofessional of him. Time for a new driving instructor I think.

Topseyt123 · 31/03/2025 02:17

Boredzebra · 31/03/2025 00:44

I can’t change him I already paid and it would be awkward. I was going to say he looked like my dad to show him I’m put off him. But maybe that’s a bad idea so I won’t. I will behave differently and not be chatty. If you have any tips let me know

Yes, you CAN change him and you must.

If he won't give your money back then say that you will report him via any professional bodies he is a member of or possibly even to the police because of how uncomfortable his sleazy behaviour has made you feel.

Walk away.

2025willbemytime · 31/03/2025 12:23

Boredzebra · 30/03/2025 23:12

I never said it was acceptable

Show quote history

Ok, it's not normal then.

Original poster
Boredzebra · 31/03/2025 15:34

I went and searched for him on Facebook and found out he’s lied to me about a few things, I know he doesn’t owe me his life story but why lie

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · 31/03/2025 15:38

You are behaving very odd, stalking his FB and actually expecting honesty from this man.

You need to branch out, find some interests.

He is a sleazy sod, if he works for a company I'd report him and request another instructor, when you've decided to be weirdly flattered.

Original poster
Boredzebra · 31/03/2025 15:47

EmeraldShamrock000 · 31/03/2025 15:38

You are behaving very odd, stalking his FB and actually expecting honesty from this man.

You need to branch out, find some interests.

He is a sleazy sod, if he works for a company I'd report him and request another instructor, when you've decided to be weirdly flattered.

I was just curious and being nosey
it was still a surprise to be lied to
I don’t see how I have anything he’d be interested in me for

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · 31/03/2025 15:50

Why are you surprised he lied? Some men lie. Your reaction is bordering on obsessive.