Confused feelings middle aged dating

[ConfusedMiddleAgedDater]

I’m dating again after a long hiatus of singledom (think 7 or 8 years). I enjoyed being single, but did want to meet someone so have dipped my toe in dating pool.

It’s horrible, i’m in a constant mix of super excitement by someone i’ve met vs “I don’t like these scary feelings and want to be single again as that was easier”. I’m trying to remember to take each event as it comes and not get caught up in it all, but one kiss and i’m immobilised for days lol.

You’re supposed to spend your single days learning to love yourself again. I definitely did not. Could be part of the problem.

Anyone else navigated this emotional tug-of-war and have advice?

Yeah, don't bother, lol.
When I was newly separated I did loads of dating. Tons of 1st and 2nd dates. I even had a couple of year long relationships out of it.
However, at the end of the day, I realised that I'm too old to keep compromising on things that are important to me and once I stopped OLD I felt far more happier in myself. Not constantly in knots over wondering what next etc. The longer this went on, I wondered why the heck I wanted a relationship in the first place!
I think I'd like a male friend (without benefits) but I doubt I'd get any takers. In the meantime I'm happy on my own, doing my own thing.

I was single for seven years before I decided to try online dating last year, and it’s been quite an experience. One important lesson I’ve learned is not to take everything at face value. It’s best to meet in person quickly because if the vibe isn’t right, it’s better to move on. Developing thick skin is key.

Since Christmas, I've been seeing a guy. We clicked, and enjoy each other’s company, but who knows what the future holds.