Bored with husband!

[SugarSpice2020]

Is anyone else completely bored w their spouse (husband in my case) & everything about them irritates you?! Wknd are particularly trying, since we’re together so much (looking after young child). There are lots of reasons I may feel sick & tired of him, & won’t go into it all here.
He’s basically a good husb & father but it’s clear after nearly 10 years together we have little in common. He has no conversation & barely any initiative. (I’m so tired of being the one suggesting not only things to do, but stuff that needs attending to around house / w child etc. makes me feel like his mother).

Unsurprisingly I’ve also gone off sex (& maybe it’s age / hormones too), but he still wants it regularly, & ‘lovingly’ too. Hence yet another difference between us which I really don’t know how to overcome. Means both of us irritable.., but splitting up isn’t really an option at present.

anyone else in similar situation / been through & found a solution?!

Why isn't splitting up an option? You sound very unfulfilled in your marriage.

If you want to make a go of it would he consider counselling?

There is no greater passion killer than feeling like his mum!!!! Why don’t men get this?!

in terms of being bored spending time with him- can you tag team so one of you is with child the other is doing a hobby one day each over the weekend? Then he’s forced to think/plan how to spend his time with child too!

Hi, thx for your responses! We’ve had some joint counselling which I think helped a bit to air thoughts, & now I’m having some alone.
We have a young child and living in the US- he’s American - so if we split for one thing I’d have to stay here. I want to move back to UK so I think it’d be even worse here alone & trying to support myself, look after child etc. It’s not awful - he’s a good husb, father in practical terms - and we do take turns having time ‘off’ as well as trying to do family things at wknd.
tbh a large part of this is due to lack of sex, at least for him. If he felt I desired it (& him) he’d be pretty happy again! However, I don’t desire it all. That old problem so common I know I’m marriage, where one person feels rejected & the other pressurised.

I really just want to spend time with someone (or have friends) more mentally compatible with me & who enjoys same things, have a laugh & chat at end of the day instead of groping about in the bedroom ;).

we have discussed option of emotionally separating, if neither remains happy. Meaning continuing to function as a family but both being free to pursue outside relationships discreetly if the chance arises. Like people did in olden days! (at least the upper classes). Might both be happier that way, yet no disruption to child & home life, & we continue to support each other practically. Might be harder said than done, not sure, but definitely seems preferable to a divorce at this stage.

Hi, thx for your responses! We’ve had some joint counselling which I think helped a bit to air thoughts, & now I’m having some alone.
We have a young child and living in the US- he’s American - so if we split for one thing I’d have to stay here. I want to move back to UK so I think it’d be even worse here alone & trying to support myself, look after child etc. It’s not awful - he’s a good husb, father in practical terms - and we do take turns having time ‘off’ as well as trying to do family things at wknd.
tbh a large part of this is due to lack of sex, at least for him. If he felt I desired it (& him) he’d be pretty happy again! However, I don’t desire it all. That old problem so common I know I’m marriage, where one person feels rejected & the other pressurised.

I really just want to spend time with someone (or have friends) more mentally compatible with me & who enjoys same things, have a laugh & chat at end of the day instead of groping about in the bedroom ;).

we have discussed option of emotionally separating, if neither remains happy. Meaning continuing to function as a family but both being free to pursue outside relationships discreetly if the chance arises. Like people did in olden days! (at least the upper classes). Might both be happier that way, yet no disruption to child & home life, & we continue to support each other practically. Might be harder said than done, not sure, but definitely seems preferable to a divorce at this stage.

It has become stale which happens in many marriages. Everything yo do in life takes effort and (me included) many stop making the effort they used to.

For example in a new relationship you chat rubbish, pay lots of compliments, are very tactile, have time for each other so when you go for drinks you are not staring at phone, do things together and alone, involve in each others friends and interests.

If things are overall good you have a good base. So just talk about how you both feel. You are both coasting and start to drift apart. Give it a go, have a weekend for just you two, glam up and make an effort to get to know each other again!