I have been seeing my new partner for about six months now and things have been going so well. He is loving and kind and he makes me smile inside and out. We previously lived together for 7 years about twenty years ago and I finished the relationship as he was very career orientated and worked long hours. I felt he did not have enough time for me and wanted to start a family. At the time he did everything he could to regain my affections including propose to me, but I met someone else who turned out to be controlling and manipulative.
My new partner is happy to try again after all this time, but a few of things make me worried. Firstly, he has no interest in befriending or spending any time with anyone who was friends with my ex-husband and I. He is happy to make new friends that we can enjoy spending time with but has no interest in my existing friends, some of whom he knew from the first time we dated. Secondly, he shows no interest in my children. I have invited him to meet them and he always finds an excuse not to. He also changes the subject when I am talking about them. He refers to my children as ‘his kids’ as if they belong to my ex-husband and not me. Finally, we always stay at his home when my children are at their dad’s. He does not want to be in the beautiful home that I spent many years designing and making a family home as it is where I lived with my ex-husband. He thinks that we should sell it as it’s just a house and buy a new home together when the time comes.
It just feels like he is trying to ignore the last 20 years of my life that I was with someone else. I deeply regret not marrying him but feel that he needs to show more compromise and understand that I have well established friendships groups and a family that I want him to become part of. What do you suggest as I love him but need him to be more accepting of my situation?