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Original poster

Husband made no effort on Mother's Day

26 replies

TheHazelRaven · 30/03/2025 15:16

Preempted that Mother's Day would just be me getting up with the kids as usual so visited a friend and stayed at hers the night before, husband kept texting and calling asking when I'll be home. Can I not ever just have a lie in. My son made me a lovely card from nursery which I'll treasure forever but I'm a sahm and do everything for everyone in the house, and not once was there a happy Mother's Day. I know social media isn't real but seeing others lovely cards, flowers etc from partners hurts while you don't even get a happy Mother's Day. I said you haven't even wished me a happy Mother's Day, he "if I was home I'd realise there was chocolate and flowers for me" I got home and there wasn't but he was taking the kids out, to go too the shop and get said flowers and chocolate. I feel so deflated? Over the weekend he bought himself some £400 sunglasses? Am I right for feeling this down about it?

OP posts:
Maitri108 · 30/03/2025 15:20

Is his behaviour out of character? I assume he's always been selfish and self absorbed and has never planned anything special.

It doesn't sound like he cares and was harassing you on the phone because he needs his skivvy back.

If you stay with him then I'd lower your expectations.

ShhhhhItsASurprise · 30/03/2025 15:26

I'm a sahm and do everything for everyone in the house

Back to work then. You’ve become the housemaid and skivvy.

Cynic17 · 30/03/2025 15:30

Your child gave you a card he made - lovely. So why did your husband need to give you presents too? I know it's a cliche, but it's nonetheless true - you are not his mother!

MemorableTrenchcoat · 30/03/2025 15:33

As above, you’re not his mother.

SCWS · 30/03/2025 15:42

Neither has mine - not even seen him.

My daughter has been making me lots of things though 😊

Coconutter24 · 30/03/2025 15:54

Your son made you a card, surely that’s enough?

myplace · 30/03/2025 15:58

I really disagree with the whole ‘you’re not his mother’ stuff.

I’m with you, OP. He’s disregarded what you do for the family and is an arse. Repeat your night away next year, and put the same effort into his Father Day that he’s made for you- though you could message him something about something good he does as a Dad. Might make him think.

PluckyBamboo · 30/03/2025 15:59

Was he going out for the flowers/chocolates this morning after you mentioned it or was he planning that all along?

If he wasn't going to bother until you mentioned it, he is a prick. But, if e.g he was needing you to get home first as you had the car, he's not being unreasonable?

Make sure you reciprocate on Father's Day......

offmynut · 30/03/2025 16:01

He`s not your son hes your husband your not his mother.
He is now going to get you more things to make you feel better.
You child made you a card be grateful.

My sister sits beside her daughters grave today imagine that.

Starlight7080 · 30/03/2025 16:03

He could have made some effort. Especially as it seems money is not a problem.
It's not so much the gift as the effort to show they appreciate you .
Yes hand made cards are lovely and I too have always kept mine .
But my dh making a little effort to show he recognised everything I do is very nice.
Even if it's just him cooking my favourite meal.
How is he on father's day? If you did nothing how would he react?

Original poster
TheHazelRaven · 30/03/2025 19:56

Thank you.
i wasn't asking for presents etc. I was asking for a hug and happy Mother's Day, maybe a lie in 😅 just some acknowledgement. Fully aware I'm not his mother. I think for all women go through pregnancy, child birth and raising children a "happy Mother's Day" is the bare minimum

OP posts:
MemorableTrenchcoat · 30/03/2025 19:59

TheHazelRaven · 30/03/2025 19:56

Thank you.
i wasn't asking for presents etc. I was asking for a hug and happy Mother's Day, maybe a lie in 😅 just some acknowledgement. Fully aware I'm not his mother. I think for all women go through pregnancy, child birth and raising children a "happy Mother's Day" is the bare minimum

I would have thought being loved was the bare minimum. Mother’s Day is an invention by greetings card companies, nothing more.

BeeCucumber · 30/03/2025 20:06

I believe too much is made of Mother’s Day. It hasn’t always been an event. It was invented by a woman in America and it’s always in June I believe. It has nothing to do with “Mothering Sunday” which was when you would return to your mother church. You are bound to be disappointed if you expect gifts and flowers and you don’t get them. It’s just a commercial exercise - like Valentine’s Day and Christmas.

Maray1967 · 30/03/2025 21:06

MemorableTrenchcoat · 30/03/2025 19:59

I would have thought being loved was the bare minimum. Mother’s Day is an invention by greetings card companies, nothing more.

Show quote history

Mothering Sunday is most definitely not an invention by card companies. It existed long before card companies did.

SallyWD · 30/03/2025 21:17

But he did go out to buy flowers and chocolates. That's good, isn't it?

MuskIsACnt · 30/03/2025 21:46

You’re not his mother but you’re the mother of his children. I think a bit of appreciation for you is fair.

My husband also completely ignored Mother’s Day and was being a dick all day. I bought myself some chocolates. Kids are toddlers so too young to know it’s Mother’s Day.

edel2 · 30/03/2025 21:48

Also, you didn't even sleep in the family home last night...like surely that was a bit of a break too?

PalmTreeAngel · 30/03/2025 21:48

How old are your children, OP? I think this is important here.

Venting16 · 02/04/2025 00:53

The exact same thing happened to me but this was my first ever Mother’s Day. I reminded him many times just days before. I feel so hurt and I don’t want be overlooked and forgotten in my marriage so am questioning if I stay.

Gamerlady · 02/04/2025 10:48

Your partner is selfish, as the mother of his child, he should buy gifts as your child is too young to do so. Replicate his behaviour on fathers day .

19340201a · 02/04/2025 10:50

Sorry to hear this OP. Men can be so useless. Have some Flowers

Fidgety31 · 02/04/2025 10:59

You’re not your husbands mum - so why would you expect him to wish you a happy Mother’s Day - weird ?!

Trovindia · 02/04/2025 11:00

SallyWD · 30/03/2025 21:17

But he did go out to buy flowers and chocolates. That's good, isn't it?

On the day, and only after she said something.

So no, that's not good.

Aroundthecorner00 · 02/04/2025 11:15

If it’s important to you then it matters. Whether it’s important to him or important to other posters is irrelevant. How you feel is what matters and it’s sad that his behaviour around this day made you sad.

AyeDeadOn · 02/04/2025 11:42

You are absolutely not being unreasonable to be upset. Your expectations are not remotely high maintenance. You just want your partner to make you feel loved and appreciated. I'm sure you would reciprocate on father's day. I advise you to get a job. Never put yourself at the mercy of a man who doesn't appreciate your unpaid labour.