Becoming single with a newborn and toddler

[Hannahre1]

ExDP has left me for good today and I’m looking for advice. He was vocal throughout this second pregnancy how he wasn’t happy about it and how I’d end up a single mum. He was confusing me because he moved out but still bought me baby items and came to appointments.
We obviously have a toddler so I guess he hung around because he felt he had to. He went out of his way to come to the birth, last minute organising childcare and was really emotional throughout my C-section and stayed with me. He’s been staying at the family home and seemed besotted by new baby.
However today, he’s switched on me again, he got our toddler to bring me flowers, card, chocolates which was nice but shortly after wanted to leave. We got into a debate about us and our relationship and he pretty much told me he doesn’t want this “life” anymore.

I’m going through a bit of PPD but I think it’s the circumstances, not baby blues, because baby is absolutely perfect and I’m just sad I don’t have that family unit. I maybe should have got my ducks in a row when I was pregnant but I couldn’t imagine him actually leaving. Baby is only 2 weeks old so it’s so fresh and I’m so scared about the future. How am I going to cope. I’m so embarrassed to tell family when this should be a happy time. How could he do this to me? Has anyone been in a similar situation? Appreciate any advice x

Bless you. You will cope. You have your lovely DC. Focus on one day at a time, build yourself a life where he is an involved and reliable dad, and that’s all you really need.

Don't give him a stick to beat you with about needing him back, and just take a day at a time. The thing you really don’t need is a flaky bloke wandering in and out. Work towards him being a great and useful Dad. That’s worth more than rubies and gold, whether he lives in or not.

I'm sorry you're going through this op.

He blows hot and cold and it's almost seeming deliberate tbh. I would bet on him 'changing his mind' again whenever it suits. Possibly because he feels you're due another head fucking.

Make the decision for yourself that it's over and he's not coming back. He doesn't get to stress you anymore at this important time for you and your baby

It won't be easy, but it will be easier without someone fannying in and out of of your life whom, you never know if you can rely on between one moment and the next.

Have you a solid family support network? You have nothing to be embarrassed about. He's a flake at best and a headwrecker at worst so if he's out, then keep it that way.

But he still has to be a dad. Don't let him shirk that responsibility. And put a CMS claim in asap. Don't rely on him caring. Don't take that chance
or bend over backwards trying to be nice to him in order to get him to contribute to his own damn kids. CMS claim in. Today.

See your GP whenever it feels you need to. Take things a day at a time. You'll get through this.