Feeling humiliated at work

[Freyakora]

i am fairly new to a job and have been suffering with flu but dragging myself in. Basically, as a result, I have felt very exhausted and confused, with bad brain fog. Has just been a real struggle trying to work like this and I feel very slow.

In a related incident, I caught my boss implying I was crazy behind my back the other day (99% sure it was about me; she twisted her finger in the universal crazy symbol around her head). I’m really struggling to make sense of it and move on. I want to work in a team of people where people have each others’ backs not where there is this low level bullying going on.

there is no benefit to speaking about it with her as it’s her company but I’m not sure how to block it out so I can do my job properly? It’s still a new job and it’s upset me.

Did any of the suggestions in your previous thread help? If not, what about them didn’t help - this would help people avoid giving the same (not useful) advice again.

The thing is op, you’ve just started this jobs d by the sounds of it…. Not remotely been working at full capacity. That’s not going to enamour you to new colleagues.

are you on probation?

Oh thanks for the heads up

Yes I’m on probation. Have done several weeks of good work but had an “off week” basically due to illness.

apologies for the dual thread. The suggestions have helped, yes, particularly the ones suggesting I rest and concentrate on my health, which I have been doing. Just struggling to block it out as it’s making me feel a lot more anxious.

If you genuinely had flu you wouldn't be able to work. Flu is when you can't get out of bed. If you've somehow managed to go to the office with flu then you're spreading it to colleagues, some of whom may be vulnerable or live with people who are vulnerable. It's know it's hard when you're new and on probation but my manager would absolutely have told me stay at home and rest. He would have been furious if I came to work with flu!

The fact you've posted about this twice doesn't help your case I'm afraid, and it is reinforcing the idea that maybe you are a little paranoid and insecure. Without directly asking your boss about it, you'll never know for certain if the action was aimed at you or if it's entirely unrelated. Honestly you just need to let it go. It's just a job - focus on keeping your head down, try to prove you can be a good employee despite your recent health issues, and take your pay at the end of the month. I can guarantee there's no way your boss is spending her weekend thinking about you.

As a side note, there isn't a human on the planet who is universally liked by everyone, nor is there anyone who likes and gets on with every person they meet. You can't spend your life depending on validation from others. If you and your boss don't get on, you can't force a relationship out of it. And if you can't work in an environment where you don't have a validating relationship with your manager, then you need to start looking for another role.

Ok thanks - to be honest it may not be flu, just a bad cold. Either way I wanted to show willing and work through it before eventually succumbing and taking time off. I’m not sure that’s the point though! I don’t really deserve to be humiliated at work.

So you did call in sick?

Perhaps she couldn’t understand why you are coming into work when you are clearly ill?

What I mean is that it could be situational and not about your character in general