Being asked last minute to meet up with friends

[Bluejeansrose78]

I just wanted to see what other peoples opinions are on being asked last minute to join friends at a event or to meet up with them last minute

I have two friends at work and whilst we are all close, as I moved teams recently I do feel a little left out sometimes with them. Recently at the weekend in our group chat on Satuday one of the girls messaged to say that they were at the pub with their partners and that if I was free I could join them if i wanted to. To me it felt like a last minute invite or an after thought as it seemed obvious they’d met up and only thought about invitng me after one of them saw something i posted on my story.

i did decline going as i felt like a last minute invite kind of felt like i was included in the original plan

more recently a different friend, messaged on Friday saying she had forgotten to invite me to her husbands leaving work drinks party on saturday night. I used to work at the same pub as her husband and regularly talk with my friend a lot and see her often so i did feel a bit hurt that it was such a last minute invite.

am i overthinking this

Hey there, it can feel really horrible to feel so you’re being left out of something. I think one thing important to remember is these are two completely separate things not a conspiracy or collaboration. It depends how things work socially in groups but sometimes if the organisation is being done by several people that can be in assumption someone else has been invited.

I do think it’s a bit weird to invite last minute but at the same time they could easily have not invited you at all and you would’ve been the wiser. XX maybe it’s just me but I feel like just saying ‘people make sure you don’t forget to invite me, let me know in advance if you can I’d love to see more of you guys now we are not working together’. Something like that depends on relationship but there’s no harm in telling people what you want from.

Maybe they are just being spontaneous.

i would not care about when I was invited but if it was for drink (if it was a dinner plan or a trip or a wedding then yes prior advance notice is necessary of course), but if it is just for drinks after work then being spontaneous is great.
if i like them, I enjoy their company and if I was free i wouldn’t question the time of invite - id just go and have a great time :)

Assuming I was free, I would have gone along. Whilst it can feel upsetting, these things can easily happen. People get chatting and make plans. When they get there, they both go 'why didn't we invite X?' You are more likely to get future invites by going.

I'm.fine about bring asked last minute but I get why others felt they are an afterthought/like to have notice.

I think spontaneity doesn't happen so much now.

We know a couple who run a company and do alot of corporate social events (sports events, comedy, music etc) for their clients. If someone drops out we are their "last minute Billy-no-mates' go to. I've had some amazing days and nights out being "last minute Billy".