Crush on a 22 year old

[WtFisthisall]

I do not know what is going on with me. I've recently split from my partner of 15 years, I'm 40. I've developed a terrible crush on a 22 year old I know through work and a shared hobby.

I am not going to act on it. But what is this madness? Is it my hormones trying to get out there before the menopause kills my fertility? Has my middle aged brain forgotten how to cope with a bit of flirting and gone full infatuation for no good reason? I'm not a giddy teenager for god's sake. I'm old enough to be his mother!

As you say, you’re old enough to be his mum. That’ll give you the ick soon enough.

probably low self esteem

If the 22 yr old was my son I would be around to see you.

It probably is your new found freedom and related hormones. You know you wouldn’t act on it. I developed a bit of a crush on a much younger man (17 years) when I was in my mid-40s. You just need to behave appropriately. No need to beat yourself up.

22 is a bit young. I'd definitely find it creepy if the sexes were reversed. I suppose it depends on how mature he is but I reckon I'd steer clear.

So this “younger man” was a child? A 17 year old child?

I read it as 17 years younger, not 17 years old

Yeah it's probably hormones.

I started looking at younged men in my late 30s. It's presumably "nature" knowing that (at late 30s/40) younger is a better bet for fertilisation, for lack of a nicer way of putting it.

22 is way too young that age barely even seems like an adult, they’re only 3 years out of being a teenager. If he was 30 and you 48 it wouldn’t be weird but a 22 year old is just too young to be in an age gap relationship.

I don't think the crush itself is wrong. We don't get to select who we fancy. He's an adult and likely to be in his physical prime. We don't become immune to these things as we get older. Just don't do anything about it. You're unlikely to have much in common or be compatible partners.

There's nothing wrong with having a bit of a crush. I've sure many of us have seen people on TV etc and thought ooh he's nice! But keep it as a secret crush, no harm done, he's far too young.

Awful lot of prudishness around here.

I'd have a bit of a flirt with him personally.

Life is short.

You like what you like, it's legal, presumably you don't mean him harm. So just have fun with it.

Only issue is that you work together. So maybe it's best to just keep it as a secret crush and enjoy it for what it is.

Chances are if you ever went on an actual date with him you'd be like 'oh...oh nope, much too young'. But still, prime candidate for an office party snog!

For some reason this really turned my stomach. Thank you - you're helping!

For all those concerned and horrified, I do not and never had any intention of acting on this. t's just a strange and slightly embarrassing thing existing in my head at the moment.

A 17 year old is a child. Not a man.

@BodyKeepingScore I think pp means the chap was 17 years younger than her, not a 17 year old. Which would make him about 30 & not a child. I don't see how hard it is to understand her post.