Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

First time in bath with bf. I'm shy about my wobbly bits! Ideas/tips please!

41 replies

noleene2 · 29/03/2025 18:47

For a while now, my bf of a year has been hinting how much he'd love us to share a romantic bath together.. Maybe with candles and bubbles. We've had a few hotel stays where he's hinted about wanting to do this, but I've felt too shy and self-conscious each time so we didn't do it. I really feel I'd like to try it, but how do I overcome my shyness at being butt naked in front of him? Might sound silly considering we've been together a year, but he's never seen me full naked before. Whenever we're intimate, I usually keep a top on. I have a couple of scars on my back and one on my front which I'm a bit conscious of. I know he loves me as I am though. I also have a mum-tum (overhang from baby weight that I'm still carrying more than 5 years on).
Which positions in the bath would be most comfortable and flattering for the first time we bathe together? I'm thinking if he gets in first, then I get in front of him but will my back to him... Would give him easy access to the bits he likes to play we lol. It's his birthday next week, so would love to do this bath thing as a surprise for him because I know he's been wanting it for a while. Just need to overcome my shyness!

OP posts:
redshoesredlaces · 29/03/2025 20:20

LizaRadleywasonthespectrum · 29/03/2025 20:03

We have a bath together most sunday mornings but it’s a big bath. I’d work on your body positivity. Confidence is very attractive.

I agree. I’m puzzled by all the people struggling to fit or get comfortable.

neilyoungismyhero · 29/03/2025 20:21

Baths, especially bubble ones are very slippy too...I have experience of this with a bony elbow landing at slip speed on crown jewels. His screams rang through the hotel corridor whilst I had a face full of foamy bubbles..not to be repeated and certainly not romantic.

Calliopespa · 29/03/2025 20:24

jewelcase · 29/03/2025 19:04

Unless the bath tub is abnormally enormous, it’s going to be anything but romantic because two adults can’t fit in one. My advice would be to try and approach the entire thing with humour, and my concern would be his disappointment with the occasion rather than with your body. Honestly, on the few occasions I have tried to have a bath with others, it is nothing like the movies. It involves quite a bit of splashing, slipping about, trying to squeeze limbs where they don’t fit, and one person nearly drowning whilst the other one gets freezing cold above the water line. Or you’re both scrunched up at either end, thanking God that it’s one with taps in the middle so that one of you doesn’t have taps in their back, and both of you being cold.

But if he insists, and can’t see the funny side, I would honestly try not to worry about your body. He fancies you enough to have been with you for this long. You’ve had sex so he’s seen you in that degree of vulnerability, and it’s not put him off. Easier said than done I know. But there are bigger fish to fry like not drowning or singeing your pubes on the candles!

… and not farting cos that’s hard to conceal in a bath.

Notthisagainyouidiot · 29/03/2025 20:27

Just remember that 2 bodies means less water needed. Yes I may have slightly flooded a hotel bathroom or 2. Nothing buggers up the ambience like having to use all the towels to mop up.

Calliopespa · 29/03/2025 20:29

EachandEveryone · 29/03/2025 19:21

Baths together are so overrated!

If I’m really honest even by myself I only enjoy them for five minutes max.

After that it’s too cold, or too long in the hot if you add more water. Baths are not padded and my butt starts to feel flat, and the whole gripping the side while trying to stand up on a slippery surface still awaits you.

Then once that’s done you are covered in suds and have to go in the shower anyway.

Calliopespa · 29/03/2025 20:34

And when you get out op you’ll be all poached pink which isn’t especially figure-enhancing.

If you feel you must, I’d slip in as a surprise, candle lit and plenty of suds and foam over acne back etc and let him discover you there. Refresh the bubbles before you get out if you are still feeling self- conscious and you’ll have a modesty cover on standing up - though your boobs will probably look like two meringue-covered baked Alaskas. I can see men liking that look though.

BrokenLine · 29/03/2025 20:37

TennesseeStella · 29/03/2025 18:51

Just no. Sounds lovely and romantic, but actually is totally awkward and uncomfortable.

Exactly. Baths are solo time. Anyone proposing I took one with him, however beloved he was, would get short shrift.

FeatherDawn · 29/03/2025 20:46

I'm really tall with long legs.
The only time DH and I did it I managed to poke his balls with my big toe
Strangely he wasn't keen to try it again 😂

PickledElectricity · 29/03/2025 20:51

Presumably he's seen you naked before? He knows what he's in for. Do a dry run before you fill the bath, you could both climb in in your regular clothes to "check" if there's enough room.

I've shared a bath with my DP at a hotel which had one in the bedroom, it was huge! We had bubbles, we relaxed, chatted, and then we had a shower today to actually get clean; he washed my hair and body and I did his. It was a lovely experience.

TomatoSandwiches · 29/03/2025 21:02

Just because he wants something doesn't mean you have to do it op.

Isthiswhatmenthink · 29/03/2025 21:44

It’s always shit in practice. Worse when you’re anxious about your body. Just don’t do it. Shower together if you must. Be a bit pissed and keep the light low.

redshoesredlaces · 30/03/2025 14:05

TomatoSandwiches · 29/03/2025 21:02

Just because he wants something doesn't mean you have to do it op.

No. But it’s nice to try to get over personal hang ups and it’s nice to do things for your partner as long as you aren’t really struggling with it.
personally I’d rather someone learned self love and realised their partner adores them and lets go of their body insecurities. Never challenging your insecurities leads to more and more negative thinking. It’s like the psychology passing the dog on the street analogy

aquashiv · 30/03/2025 18:44

I love a bath. If you have breasts and a vagina that's all you need. No one cares. You'll make a right holy mess though 😁

category12 · 30/03/2025 19:00

If the plan is to try it on a romantic hotel stay, then chances are the bath will be big enough. They can look for one with that feature in mind. Yeah, a standard bath at home can be a bit awkward, but you just go in with a sense of humour and bit of determination 😂

OP, I think you should try to get more comfortable with showing the guy your body generally. You've been together a year, you've been shagging a while, he's really not going to be put off and he's probably seen more of you than you think.

Just think, has every view you've ever had of him been flattering, all the time? Is he a flawless Adonis?

Movinghouseatlast · 30/03/2025 19:09

Why not book somewhere with an Ofuro style hot tub? They are much bigger and deeper than a standard bath.

We have them at our holiday cottages. They don't have jets etc so like a big bath but with seats. I think most people have sex in them but that's OK as the water is changed between guests

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread