Am i right to feel upset by this?

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So me and my partner have been together 10+ years we’re in our 30s and have a child together & life is good together i enjoy our life however he doesn’t seem to pay me much attention sexually and never compliments me. today we had a date day and i got dolled up and he didn’t bat an eyelid never said i looked nice or anything but our neighbour who was heading on a girls night walked past us dressed up and he eyeballed her up and down and didn’t take his eyes away. he does this a lot wherever we go if there’s a pretty woman he will always stare and keep staring until she notices. it doesn’t matter if the kids are with us or family he will do it. I try make an effort at home and take care of a lot and it doesn’t seem to be appreciated. i’ve started feeling insecure and ugly and hate myself because of this. i want to spend loads of money on changing my appearance so he might look at me like he looks at other women. Where do i go from here? will i ever feel good enough?

It's not about how you look. If he's ogling women so much that they notice, it's got to be deliberate. If he's doing it in front of you, it's basically negging. He's hurting your feelings on purpose.

I agree with the first reply. It’s not about how you look. He’s either doing it on purpose to wind you up or he’s doing it because he’s looking for sexual opportunities elsewhere and didn’t care whether you know or not. The fact that he’s not even trying to hide it (nay, almost advertising it by the sounds of it) makes him a huge arsehole. I’m sorry you’re going through this

He is your partner and you are the mother of his child. But he is deliberately disrespecting you by perving on other women in front of you.
Changing your appearance will make not the slightest bit of difference because this is deliberate behaviour to undermine you and chip away at your confidence. He is a nasty piece of work.
I don't understand how on the one hand you say you enjoy your life with him and that it is a good life when he so patently wants to hurt you and keep you in your place.
Men like this don't change.

Sounds like he has lost interest in you sexually.

I would absolutely not put up with this. He’s disgusting.

Why are you turning this in on yourself and hating yourself, when it's him that's being an arsehole?

He's with you, he should be treating you respectfully and not leching over other women. He's probably making them feel uncomfortable as well if he's staring like a slavering dog at a biscuit.

Not only is he being an arsehole to you and purposefully making you feel like shit, he's being creepy as hell to these other women that he's staring at.

If someone stared like that at me I'd feel really uncomfortable.

I couldn't be with someone who behaved like that, it's disgusting. You're worth so much more.

He is being utterly disrespectful, not only to you but to these women he's leering at.

Get rid of this grim slug of a man.

Exactly this!

Ok Norma

OP this one is not on you, its on him. He owns his own behavior, always.

I would rethink this relationship in all honesty. He sounds hard work and boring, not to mention how disrespectful he is towards you. And stop letting his actions be your fault, start there at least.

And what changes to your appearance do you think would work?

eh?