Is he still interested? Have you remained friends with a date?

[ThatBluntBear]

I’ve been dating a guy for the last couple of
months. Have been on 5 dates on the weekends and things were going well. A few days ago I pulled him up on the fact I felt he pulled away, he said he didn’t think he was ready to be in a relationship with a child involved - completely understood that (my child doesn’t live with me and won’t ever live with me but he’s not aware of this right now).
He asked to remain friends and we then met up for an activity and dinner but it felt just like our usual dates, he’s also still texting me like he always has done. I’m confused as to if he actually is still interested or whether to give it up?

TLDR- wants to be friends after dating for 2 months but is still acting the same.

Why won’t your child ever live with you?

Sounds like he likes spending time with you but doesn’t want commitment. He’s probably dating other women now and may pull away when he gets more involved with one, so be careful not to get attached OP.

Have you had sex yet. If not, and there's no intimacy, and there never has been, then you really are just friends.

Yes we have had sex since the first date. We did not have it today when meeting “as friends”. Just feels strange as it was exactly like our normal dates minus the sex and the continued constant texting.

She lives with her dad and that’s what is best for her at the moment. He’s more than happy to commit as I know he’d like to settle down completely. I thought he was dating others but he confirmed he wasn’t and he has no interest to at the moment.

Have I remained friends with a date? Yes, but not to go out and do activities together.

I’m confused as to if he actually is still interested or whether to give it up?
Give up what? He's told you he does not want to be in a relationship with you.
You think you might change his mind? Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who would chop and change like that?

He asked to meet up as friends. Did you want to?

He's been truthful.Then you are just friends now.No sex and no constant texting. It sounds like a soft breakup, and what will probably happen is a slow fade.

Do you want that or do you just want to cut the cord now.

I think it's going to be bad for you to try and be "just friends" with someone you're clearly into.

You'd be better off dropping contact. It'll stop you moving on otherwise.

Well only because he called it off essentially due to the fact he wasn’t ready for a child. But I don’t know whether to be upfront and explain she’ll never live with me and see if he wants to give it a go or to just leave it.
i did want to see him again and we had a lovely time as always but it just felt like we were on a date again.

I was expecting him to fade a bit but if anything he’s started texting me more. He has text me all day today including as soon as we parted ways this evening.
I would like to keep him in my life but I know I may just end up hurting myself.

You still have a child though and unless the child is never allowed contact then there is surely always a chance they could live with you. As mentioned you said she lives with her Dad at the moment.

If you want more then don’t see him again.

I don’t know whether to be upfront and explain she’ll never live with me and see if he wants to give it a go or to just leave it.
I am guessing you haven't told him this before as it felt too private?
You say She lives with her dad and that’s what is best for her at the moment. "At the moment" suggests that the situation could change in future - even if the plan now is for her to stay with her dad permanently. If her dad fell ill or died, for instance, would your dd come to you? Or if your circumstances or mindset changed?

Yeah I never explained it as it’s personal and I also didn’t want to be judged which I have been in the past.
I say at the moment but unfortunately it is permanent and if anything were to happen to him she would live with my parents.

She lives with her dad but surely you spend time with her and she’s in your life? So anyone in your life would eventually have to embrace that if it became serious?

Apart from him not wanting to live with a child, there are some other things that speak against his suitability as a partner. If he is dithering - not sure about breaking up - or if he's blurring the boundaries between friendship and a relationship then that would not make him a great catch as a friend, let alone a partner.
What is it about this guy that makes you so keen to pursue him, even when he's called it off? Is he so incredibly amazing (doesn't sound like it, as I say), or is it because you don't feel like you have a lot of potential partners to choose from?

@ThatBluntBear sounds like he’s readjusted the goal posts and demoted you from “potential girlfriend” to “waiting in the wings”.

He’s not going to stop contacting you because he probably doesn’t have anyone else in place yet but he will drop you as soon as someone else comes along. He will no doubt take any benefits of friendship / texting / flirting or even sex from you in the meantime. He’s been honest with you, he doesn’t see a future with you, so why you would stick around unless you’re happy to be friends with benefits?