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Original poster

Ex found not guilty - assault case

31 replies

Evecob · 28/03/2025 17:47

Hi all,

I reported my ex for an assault that took place in a car he was driving. He threw objects at me and revved the car at 60mph and shouted while our small children were in the back. I spoke to police privately as i was in an abusive relationship and made a statement, we split up shortly after and while split, he refused to get out of the car and i felt unsafe so recorded him. I got him on record admitting to throwing things at me. He got arrested and put on bail conditions, and pled not guilty. CPS decided to prosecute.

after months of waiting we had the trial and he was found not guilty.
Im really upset with the outcome, though i am out of the relationship and getting divorced, he has got away with it and the abuse he put me through for the whole relationship!!

He had a lot of money from a large inheritence just before we split, and he obviously paid for a good defence lawyer. She was very good on the stand, my testimony must have been seen as weaker for them to doubt concrete proof :(

I have been doing so well since he has been out of the house, but this has knocked me sideways and im struggling with this today. There was psychological, emotional and at times physical abuse, i have audio recordings of things i went through over the years (which were not used in the trial) still and dont know if i should put forward coercive control charge.. i worry for any future woman who might end up with him and hes gotten away with it.

We have 2 kids who he has not seen for 5 months, as i requested to see proof he was doing something about his behaviour. He didnt. He also refused a contact centre to see the children.

I have a feeling he will now push back on seeing the kids as he is now free, but in my eyes i was hugely failed by the system, his behaviour is still dangerous, and dont want the children to be subjected to any unsafe behaviour..

Has anyone got any advice, or has anyone been through something similar?

Thank you very much for reading

OP posts:
Original poster
Evecob · 29/03/2025 14:42

Howtohelpbirds · 29/03/2025 11:04

Yes, the thing is if there are past allegations, regardless of outcome, that they feel are concerning and relevant to the disclosure they can share them under clares law.

The police told me that the only time they can't disclose the allegations is when the perpetrator hasn't been made aware of them, ie if you've made a report but didn't take it further and he hasn't been made aware, then they can't share.
But in your case he was very much made aware.

Show quote history

Oh ok, so the first time when i didnt make a statement he probably doesnt know then. So only 1. Thanks for the clarification

OP posts:
Original poster
Evecob · 29/03/2025 14:45

bigboykitty · 29/03/2025 11:29

@Evecob it will show on any enhanced DBS check as part of employment or volunteering and I would give very short shrift to anyone who tried to minimise these kind of charges having been brought against them. He will have to declare it in these situations and I cannot tell you how obvious it is when the person starts making ridiculous excuses and using the 'I was found innocent' trope. It could affect security clearance in the workplace too. Anyone googling his name is likely to find the court information. You got as far as court. That is difficult to do.

Please can you take specialist advice about your home and personal security in case he does retaliate, if you haven't already?

Thank you.. what do you mean personal and home security? Like door locks? Those were changed, my dad did that. I have a ring doorbell.

He was blocking my access to my phone provider and internet provider so i got new ones.. the only thing tieing us together are the cars both in his name so need 1 changing to mine, and the mortgage. Which im waiting for him to sign the TR1 form...

OP posts:
bigboykitty · 29/03/2025 15:17

That's good then @Evecob - you're on top of things. I would just be conscious of routines and making an effort to vary routes and timings if possible, in case he gets any silly ideas about approaching you. You know him, obviously, so this may not be something he would do.

Original poster
Evecob · 29/03/2025 15:20

bigboykitty · 29/03/2025 15:17

That's good then @Evecob - you're on top of things. I would just be conscious of routines and making an effort to vary routes and timings if possible, in case he gets any silly ideas about approaching you. You know him, obviously, so this may not be something he would do.

I hope not... we do have 2 kids so this would be the only reason for him contacting me but would assume by solicitors.

OP posts:
Original poster
Evecob · 29/03/2025 15:21

He will know my routine tho, since i wfh and take the kids to school and back

OP posts:
MsBiggs · 21/05/2025 23:24

I've been through a similar situation recently. After being in an abusive relationship where you hide the abuse, All you want is for the justice system to believe in you. When they don't it feels like they are saying the abuse was okay and they can do what ever they want to you because no one will support you.
Keep pushing through and continue to evidence everything with regards to the kids. Most importantly look after you.

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