Relationship on a downer

[Loulou345]

Well where to start?
I am in a long term relationship of 23 years. 2 children. I have recently called my OH out on his porn habbit on his phone. Its been mentioned before that i am not keen as i feel kind of forgotten about. I am perimenopause so my sex drive is up and down. Its not non existent though. This week i found a vpl file where he must store his videos. I just had enough and askes him outright has he got a porn addiction? This has now turned into him ignoring me and i now feel like the bad guy. We are having a rocky time at the moment as we have a few financial worries. Maybe he uses this as an escape from all this? Or maybe i am just looking for excuses. I am quite insecure in the relationship as it is. Due to something happening 5 years ago. When i suspected an affair with a work colleague. When i was 8 months pregnant. He denied of course but i never really got over that. That's a long story for another thread i guess. Just looking for views on this porn matter. Am i overreacting?

Porn, he now ig
I would start firming up plans to separate from him.

Porn, he now ignoring you, a past emotional affair when you were pregnant. You deserve better and I think you’re underreacting.

Do not stay in such a relationship because i
of the kids. Firm up plans going forward to leave this man.

Why would you want to stay with a man who gets his sexual gratification from seeing women being violated , exploited and abused?
And who has a history of cheating.
And now he is ignoring you, which is a form is a form of abuse.
He ticks an awful lot of boxes for what should not be tolerated in a relationship.
You would be better off without him.

Sorry that you're having a difficult time. In my view, men (and some women for that matter) watching porn occasionally is very normal and common. I don't think it should be taken as an immediate indictactor of the health of a relationship. Do you feel comfortable talking to your DH about your sex lives?