His ex was beautiful, I'm not

[posyofroses]

I've been seeing someone for nearly 3 years. He was only with 1 other person before me. They were together 2 years. He recently mentioned her name (I always knew "about" her but never by name, she was just mentioned as his "ex"). During the same conversation, he mentioned what kind of work she did.. I got curious and did a bit of googling and looked on Linkedin, and SM. Found her. She's absolutely beautiful. They split 10 years ago and the most recent she's put on SM were from 2024... She's stunning, so I can only imagine she was even more so 10 years ago. Is it weird that I feel envious? She was his first relationship.

Who cares what she's like, he's with you now. You've also been together longer than they were, so that should tell you who's the real winner here. Chin up, I know how this feels but it's not worth thinking about.

What she looks like is irrelevant because it was 10 years ago & he has been with you 3 years.

I know people on here say this kind of thing all the time but why are you looking her up? Are you insecure in your relationship for some reason?

I think it's odd to be bothered by someone he was with a decade ago. A few months ago maybe, but a decade is a long time.
Maybe think about why it bothers you.

read Rebecca - the beautiful ex is an ex for a good reason.

Are you sure she's really beautiful, as opposed to filtered photos or whatever?

It doesn't really matter though. Beautiful women get cheated on and left for plainer women. What counts is that he's a good guy and into you, not that you're objectively better than every other female he's ever met.

Well firstly I don't use social media but I assume if she is posting photos of herself they will be of her looking at her best and, as pp commented, possibly filtered or enhanced.

Secondly, and most importantly, being physically attractive is meaningless if you don't have any personality, are selfish, are an unpleasant person, if you have nothing in common with your partner,etc etc. I'm not saying she necessarily is any of those things but you have no idea just by looking at photos of her. There is much more to a relationship than looks.

And your partner obviously thinks you are attractive other wise he wouldn't have been with you for 3 years. You are probably beautiful in his eyes.

What's he look like? Is he amazingly handsome??
Whatever he looks like I'm sure you love him for who he is & what you share, not just what he looks like.
And I am sure he is the same with you.

I'm a 5 on a good day. In my youth I went out with a classically beautiful man. I stayed longer than i should because I was young and he was so good looking. I left because he was as thick as mince, think Joey Essex (the way he pretends to be). He adored me. Looks aren't everything.

Honestly it doesn’t matter. It’s the chemistry that’s crucial.
Actually I know many really fit blokes that are with relatively plain girls and they all have happy marriages or long term relationships.
If you don’t click then however beautiful the other person is there’s no joy. And the converse is also true.

Some of the most beautiful women in the world have been lied to, cheated on and abused by physically repugnant men. Now I’m not suggesting that your chap did anything wrong or that he’s anything other than gorgeous, but appearances don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. He’s not with her now. So don’t ruin what you have by worrying about someone he doesn’t even know anymore.