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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Narcissistic because of childhood trauma

6 replies

Dontneedthedramaimtooold · 27/03/2025 05:04

Where do I start…. Married for almost 12 years together for 16.
Ive never given my husband reason to be jealous or question my fidelity.
Am I wrong to be jealous and angry?
He on the other hand has, declaring his undying love to his ex (mother of his son) after a year of being together. Phoning her about 3 years later when on holiday but hid it.
He has so much empathy for others listening, supporting, advising but he gets irritated if I try to open up. I had to listen to a colleague crying and he spent a good while listening.
More recently he got a new boss and he talked about her so much he actually said if I talked about a male colleague as much he did about her he’d be pissy! More recently he purposely didn’t mention an overnight work event and earlier this week they were still texting at 22:19 and tonight he rang her at 19:35 for something that could have walked until tomorrow.

OP posts:
Guavafish1 · 27/03/2025 05:07

Do you love him?
Do you feel good within the relationship?
Do you want to continue with the status quo?

Overtheatlantic · 27/03/2025 06:50

That’s not narcissistic behaviour. He’s just trying to have an affair.

Holdmeclosertinydancer2018 · 27/03/2025 06:53

Not narcissistic, he just doesn't love you

littlezozo · 27/03/2025 06:58

Overtheatlantic · 27/03/2025 06:50

That’s not narcissistic behaviour. He’s just trying to have an affair.

Nailed it

GoldBeautifulHeart · 27/03/2025 10:30

Op you're letting him treat you like this. No man is worth this believe me.

JackdawRoost · 27/03/2025 10:48

Hes putting you in your place by building others up, artificially, to make you feel awful that you don't command that same level of care from him.

Staying is a choice. Valuing yourself is a choice. I would put myself first and drop him. No one should threaten your mental wellbeing and self worth...and DEFINITELY not to this extent.

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