Thoughts on relationship with ofw?

[DarkLion]

I don’t want to be too outing here but I’m in a pretty new relationship of about 4 months, I’m a nurse and my partner is also a nurse but he’s a Filipino overseas worker and is on the 2nd year of a 5 year work visa, also same place of work

it’s all new to me as I’ve never dated a different culture but he is so good to me. I have a son from a previous relationship that it does concern me if it will be a barrier but he says not although they haven’t met with it being so early days. I know he has commitments to his family back home, sending money and looking to build a house for his family so although we’re committed to each other, he’s more of a ‘let us take one day at a time’ and let us build on what we have, with no rush. He also says about his goals and aspirations and also mine but says he doesn’t class us as temporary. I’m not sure if this should worry me with it not being too certain if he will end up extending and staying here. I couldn’t and wouldn’t up and leave from here because of my son if things went well in the long term.

In every way though he’s unlike anyone I’ve ever dated before. He’s older than me and in mid 30s and I’m 29, it seems to stem from culture but he’s very respectful and all about serving me with acts of service and how he can make my life stress free and look after me. Despite the cultural differences, we clicked pretty much straight away and both really understand each other with our work stresses and sacrifices we’ve had to make. However what I guess I’m asking, would you ever go through a relationship where you’re not sure what one’s future plans will be? Or do you think it’s too murky and you both have to be certain of the end goal in the first place with location and future plans etc? Is it better to have happiness and good times knowing it could all be temporary even if he insists he doesn’t see it as temporary but is unsure what the future holds

I think you need to stop worrying and enjoy this lovely man and relationship for exactly what it is

Thank you! This is exactly what my friends have said funnily enough. My previous relationships haven’t been great and I’ve had 2 DV relationships so I think I have the tendency to over analyse things sometimes!

I would also just enjoy your time together and see what happens. If things work out, maybe he will apply to stay here.

I would enjoy it for now - but be prepared if he’s sending money home and building a house there, that’s some pretty clear future plans - so I’d be wary getting in too deep! Also have you checked there’s no other family back home? 😧

It’s more for a family house as another house they had in the family went to his sister as she had kids so when he goes back home he has nowhere to stay so has to stay in hotels and airbnbs so he promised his dad before his death he would build another family house to stay in the family that has rooms for him and others to stay when visiting is what he told me. He did say he grew up very very poor back home and he definitely has no wife and kids back home. He’s the youngest of 7 and all of his siblings are married and have kids so he pays to put his niece and nephew through private education and it seems it’s his duty to the family to provide a better life for them which other ofw I know say is very normal in their culture

he just spends a lot of money on me which I don’t always like as think he has his own commitments and I’ve always been independent but he’s very much of the attitude that he’s had it hard back home and doesn’t want me to ever struggle and also says money can be re-earnt but time is precious and I’ve always been soo independent and want to pay my way too but he won’t hear of it

Enjoy the relationship for what it is but don't make any commitment.