We're in our 60s, together 10 years, married 9. Been so happy until a year ago when DH had fall out with his family and I stupidly stood up for him by texting his sister explaining politely what he could and couldn't do with regard to caring for their DM. He blocked his family from calling him and on all social media. His choice, nothing whatsoever to do with me. Of course his elderly DM blamed me and accused me of never wanting to be part of the family (totally untrue). Anyway I took a step back and after a few months they apparently all became "friends" again, while I was still the wicked witch of the west.
Over the months our relationship became more strained, including DV. He told me to leave more than once, house is solely in his name. Just before Christmas I calmly asked him what was wrong and his reply was " the love has died" due to all the arguments, the fact none of his family and friends have visited for 2 years ( they never did just call in and if invited wouldn't take a drink and would leave as soon as possible).
My family live a plane ride away and are very different people, always make DH welcome, if they lived here would call in uninvited etc etc
I was devastated. Went for a long walk. Few days later we talked about me retuning to live nearer my family but financially that would be difficult.
Christmas was dead. Presents were exchanged, we visited his DM and his Dsis appeared full of false Christmas cheer on her way to church (oh the hypocrite). Dinner was eating. I went to bed early on NYE, don't think he even noticed how heartbroken I was.
After Christmas we talked again, he said he didn't mean what he said about "the love has died" apparently people just say things!!!! Must admit over last 10 years I've noticed his family do say some awful things then just move on. I find this strange. AIBU???
Fast forward, he's now on anti depressants and having counselling. Says he wants us to work through this.
BUT this week I've tried to organise a few days away and he's making every excuse not to go, same when I mention going to gigs, theatre, cinema (which we used to do regularly). Quite often when I'm telling him something I catch him rolling his eyes or he's just not listening.
We were unbelievably happy up until this time last year, I find myself crying every day. Shall I just book holidays, theatre trips etc alone? Life is too short