Relationships

[11Turtle]

I have an ex boyfriend of off and on 10 years and we share 2 small boys. I’ve been going through extreme tumultuous times and fights against myself to do what I know is best for the kids and I. I finally left and in return he emails me absurd things as if he did nothing and acting like I did something wrong for leaving! I went from feeling so hurt could barely eat let alone sleep to then feeling so angry. Am i overreacting?

No, you aren't. It's always upsetting to end a long relationship, whether it was a bad or a good one.

Lots of people have no insight into their own behaviour and/or won't take responsibility for being a crap partner. Those are the people who get pissed off with you for saying "No more" and feel like you've overstepped by looking out for yourself! He's basically saying you owe him a relationship and need to get back in your place - your place, of course, gives you no right to expect care and respect. According to him.

If you were hoping he'd have a personality transplant / see the error of his ways after you left, you're going to be disappointed. I guess he might try this for a bit when he realises you mean it, but people can't really change like that - has he tried before? What happened then?

You've done a great thing for yourself and your children. Congratulations, and please do treat yourself gently while you grieve for the relationship you thought you might have, with the man you thought he was. You actually do deserve a nice relationship with a nice person - and you can start by being nice to yourself

I’ve left before but we were still in contact and I still took the boys to see him and etc and he made it seem like he changed but no . He would still call me nasty things and make up lies if I didn’t do what he wanted and or be available. It’s all just lies he tells and makes it sound good but no actual movement to showing it at all. This time, I will do no contact for the fact of this last time our oldest son actually told his school which also cause him to start acting out in school as well. For that reason, I feel id be a real shitty mother to let the boys continue growing up around their dad who treats and talks to their mother how he does. It’s just really unfortunate. I am doing mY best as giving myself some grace.