Do you know the feeling?

[Gemlarr]

Has anyone else been in this situation? I dated someone who initially I wasn’t attracted to but they pursued me and surprised me and things were fab until they weren’t. I feel like I developed feelings I wasn’t expecting to for this person but with him it feels like he had a lot of feelings for me at the start which now seem like they have faded. It feels so hard to get over when you’ve seen how amazing it can be but to know he doesn’t want that anymore is hard. I know I deserve better but it’s still that disappointment of what could have been

I think some people enjoy the chase/challenge, but when they get it, they no longer want it.

I think you should see it as a lesson in not starting a relationship with someone you’re not attracted to, purely because they ‘pursue’ you. It sounds as if you’re extra aggrieved and hurt because you feel they made all the running, so they should have stayed interested?

Yes I totally know the feeling.
When someone is so keen on you and you can really feel it; then they change towards you and you think back to how they were.

But you dodged a bullet, some people are fickle like that. He will have moved on to the next person to have an intense crush on and love bomb.

This!

These threads come up from time to time, man fancies woman, woman doesn’t fancy man. Man persuades woman, woman’s feelings change, man buggers off. I think as the above poster said, for him it’s about the chase, the chase has now ended so it’s onto the next one for him. Sorry op.

I second this. It's like a game of cat and mouse, it's all in the chase. Bit of an oxytocin high. Then when you've achieved your mission, you're on the comedown.

Personally, I've tried relationships with people I did not fancy but kind of tried it out of politeness (yes, I deconditioned from that warped "women=polite" shit eventually!) and it never worked out. I was stuck with some geezer for a few months that I'm not sure if I liked let alone loved and it'd carry on till I had the balls to dump them. Not fair on me or them.

If you're attracted to someone, your brain and body will soon let you know ! If it isn't there- forget it.

I had a relationship like this. Chased me for a year, I then decided to give him a chance. As soon as I eventually fell for him as he completely love bombed me, he started to show me his true colours and dropped me like a hot brick. It’s a major 🚩when someone pursues you like this. Take this as a lesson learned. You have seriously dodged a bullet. Some people just enjoy the chase and have no interest in a serious relationship. Very cruel and manipulative of them. Sending ❤️though as I know how hurtful it is. ❤️❤️