What kind of GM wont allow her gc in her house

[needagoodnightsleep1]

Just looking for a safe place to rant really. So fed up of ex mil. Exh and I are separated and he's been living with him dm. He is saving up for his own place.
Ex mil refuses to allow my dd round there when he is there at the weekends. Shes been away this week/weekend and actually messaged him saying dd was not allowed in the house even though she is not there!!
I know she can have who ever she wants in her house but why be so cruel to a 5 year old. It's her dgd, her son's dd not a stranger.
I honestly cant get my head around it

@dubstepper i dont mind exh coming round here to see dd but sometimes it would be nice to have a break

Could it be that she has good reason to separate them?

@GreenCandleWax perhaps. But she is always out socialising with friends, going away on holiday etc.

@Dery i do feel like that most of time I wouldn’t want my dd there now away, it still stings though. Shes such a loving funny child and i feel sad that her own gm wants nothing to do with her

@Tbrh im sorry i don't understand what you mean

@Justcallmebebes i presumed all gm's would feel like this tbh

@Endofyear i do feel like that now to be honest but it still hurts a little.

How weird. Are you a homosexual couple? Or in some way non-traditional? Mixed race? Just thinking of potential causes

Sounds like she doesnt like anyone in her home tbh, I wonder if she only putting your ex up under sufferance.

She sound awful. How long before your ex can leave?

My mums the same but it’s because she doesn’t want to have any responsibility and thinks that I’m going to suddenly ask her to babysit if she dares let them past the front door but she’ll use the excuse that it’s dirty.

I thought my mum was bad but your MIL sounds unhinged!

If she’s away then I would have DD there anyway because she wouldn’t know any different.

Could ex go on the council list.
The quicker he gets his own place the better!

@dubstepper im sorry you have had similar experiences and im glad you have come to terms with it now. I am mostly at peace but every now and again like this weekend when she makes a point of sending messages that dd is not to be her home despite her not there, i find that unnecessary and cruel

@needagoodnightsleep1 I’d be calling her and demanding a reason why. Stick up for your poor innocent girl.
My DC’s paternal grandparents haven’t seen DC since age 3. Now 10. Breaks my heart.

I have an ex mil who has never had the kids for tea, never picked them up, never shown any interest in them, despite living very nearby. They show her the same interest now they are grown up.

not wishing to derail the thread but we’re two women. They never mentioned any upset or intent to not speak to us. We got on fine. They basically just stopped communicating and we heard through other supportive family members that they cut off other people from their lives without reason. They are now very old, mentally frail and suspected dementia and we have offered support but they refused. It’s a very unusual situation but despite other family members trying to help, they just refuse to speak about it. I wish I was exaggerating and it’s been awful for my partner to accept but she has a supportive sister (who they also ignore). Hope you can sort a solution OP but my advice is to distance yourself and child from this woman

@OldCottageGreenhouse i did actually send her a very polite message a couple of years ago asking what the issue was. She read the message didnt respond and blocked me on everything

@PyongyangKipperbang thats a very good point perhaps she is pissed at me for kicking her son out because she is now lumbered with him!!

@Cucy sorry you're facing the same difficulty. Agree thought he needs to get out asap and she is unhinged

I would hope so too. Your situation is really sad. Are your parents involved and good grandparents?

Your exh needs to get his own house asap.
I know having a great grandparent relationship is important but not if the GP isn’t willing. Just cut your losses and have people who love your child in her life.

I had one brilliant GM and one who didn’t really care but she wasn’t maternal.
She didn’t like children and if the pill had been available in the 1930/40. I wouldn’t be here.

Don't let it hurt you - it's not about you or your daughter. It's all about your ex's mother being a horrible person. Concentrate on the loving relationships in your daughter's life - they are the most important thing.

Oh sorry, I read your post wrong. I thought she was happy to have DD around, just not if the father was there.

Thank you for all your lovely replies. I sadly have no family here where we live, they all live on the other side of the world. We do try and meet up every year or two though.