Stressful times - ivf soon / miscarriage history. . Relationship

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Hi all

We have miscarriage history
( a much wanted and planned child )

Now we have ivf soon
( due to issues on my side)

IVF obviously effects relationship and is a super stressy and anxiety inducing time..

We had a nice afternoon at the beach yesterday
& are trying to focus on some us time thats not ivf related

But ivf / infertility consumes people

Does anyone have any advice / tips ?

Can anyone relate?

Thanks heaps

Sorry you’re going through this. My history was similar to yours. Mc & ectopic. We were in a very dark and depressed state after the ectopic and me losing my ability to conceive naturally. Our first ivf was successful and DD is now 17. So it was awhile ago but…

The best advice I was given was to watch comedy. We watched every great comedy we hadn’t seen from day 1 of our ivf journey to the day we tested and through the pregnancy. We focussed on our happiness, staying in positive spirits, things that combat stress like Accupuncture, yoga, meditation. We did journaling, read books on positivity and manifesting and did all the exercises together.

It kept us in a positive mindset but also distracted us from negative thinking or dwelling on what could go wrong.

it is a tough journey, emotionally and hormonally so be kind to yourself and find ways to laugh and feel good. It really helps the process. Wishing you lots of luck on your journey.

Thanks so much and sorry to hear of your losses too

So sorry you're going through this. It consumes everything, doesn't it? No amount of CBT etc changed that for me. I guess my only tip is not to let guilt about this make the situation even worse and just grab the brief, uncomplicated moments of joy and laughter when they come. I found absorbing hobbies like japanese nonogram puzzles or mindful colouring helpful, and also lots of comedies like the pp said. But it's totally normal to have intrusive thoughts. If you can find a specialist fertility counsellor that might help as you can try to park some of your thoughts for when you're in that space and it does help to have a non-judgemental space to let it all out. xx