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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He just won’t take no for an answer!

8 replies

DLMum16 · 23/03/2025 16:02

I put a post up earlier about my husband who I finished with three months ago wanting us to be in touch. I just bumped into him in my local park and he just won’t take no for an answer! He seems to think we have had our break, marriages go through things and it’s time for us to get back together. He’s so full on. I told him it was his fault we broke up and if he’s lonely he brought it on himself. He said he loved me and my life was better with him in it! I said nothing. He told me he would cut back on his drinking and he did like my son! We don’t live together thankfully. He asked me if I still loved him and I said nothing. How the hell do I deal with this when it’s like he won’t let me walk away.He seems to think I’ve made my point and that’s it done. He asked about men on my fb. I said that was controlling behaviour and I can have who I like on it. I really don’t want to go back to all that! I’d end up having to delete people to keep him happy. It’s ok someone loving you but frig sake. I just want a healthy relationship and to be left alone! This was the reason dive been avoiding him and then I go and bump into him! I knew he would pile the pressure on. He was a dick on drink at times.

OP posts:
SparklyGlitterballs · 23/03/2025 16:07

I didn't see your previous post. I assume you've left the marital home? Have you started divorce proceedings? Rather than say nothing when he says stuff it's better to be clear "no my life was not better with you in it", "no, I do not still love you". By keeping quiet and not refuting his comments you could be giving him hope. Get the divorce papers served and get things formalised.

category12 · 23/03/2025 16:10

He told me he would cut back on his drinking and he did like my son!

Yeah right 🙄

If him being a dick to your son was part of the reason you broke up, then stay broken up.

TheseBootsAreWalking · 23/03/2025 16:12

He loves the comfort that came with you, but he sounds controlling.
He will continue, his tactics to reel you back in may have worked previously so he will attempt to reel you back in my saying what he thinks will work on you, its all for his own benefit.
Take your power back, you own him nothing. Start divorce proceedings and stop giving him space to voice his needs. He is no longer your responsibility.

Know your worth.

Shadesofscarlett · 23/03/2025 16:12

block him from your FB and lawyer up?

Bittenonce · 23/03/2025 16:13

I put stuff on your last thread. It’s time to block. He needs to let go - and it’s doing your head in. He’s going to suffer- but better get it over with, and you need to look after yourself.

orangewasp · 23/03/2025 16:15

If you run into him be firm "I'm not duscussing this, it's over" If he asks if you love him say no. Get divorce proceedings started. Go to the police if he harrasses you.

unsync · 23/03/2025 16:38

He's sounds coercive and controlling. Whilst his life might be better with you in it, is yours better with him in it? If not, make the separation permanent and start the divorce process.

Do you think he poses any physical danger? If so, seek help and have a plan in place from the start.

Sulu17 · 23/03/2025 16:42

You just happened to bump into him? I think he's probably stalking you. Time to contact the police and get advice from a solicitor. Be careful, OP - this could get worse before it gets better.

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