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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Communication problems

2 replies

Mystical1981 · 23/03/2025 09:58

I've been with my partner for 10 years but the past 3 years our communication has got terrible. In the first few or so years I could talk to him about everything and anything then he started to become abit more short tempered and would get instabtly angry whenever I brought up a problem. When there's a problem I like to talk about it but he gets irate shouts and talks over me i can't get a word in. For example the other day we were out having a meal and we were talking and he was talking to me about his family and how his niece is having a baby party and he's got to go to it. I just said why am I never invited to anything and that was it instantly he got irate saying why do I always have to be negative and shouting at me. I tried to explain why I said it but he kept talking over me we had a huge row. This is how whenever I bring something up that's a problem in our relationship he instantly thinks I'm being negative and starts an argument and then says I started the argument for bringing it up in the first place. This is how it always goes. Whenever I try to talk about anything I always say I have something I need to talk to you about but I just want to talk about it and not argue and that's it straight away he is angry and saying I'm negative. I don't think I can go on like this anymore he talks over me in the argument until the point I just stop and think I can't be bothered to talk anymore whats the point when I'm just being talking or shouted over all the time. He says I am being negative when it doesn't have to be but I say if I've got a problem I wanna talk and resolve it. In the beginning we used to sit and talk all our problems out and it never ended in an argument and I loved that about him. What do I do? I've tried to say we have a communication problem but he just says no you and your negativity is the problem.

OP posts:
Jubbly2841 · 23/03/2025 10:15

You don’t have a communication problem, you have an abuse problem.

CinnamonTart · 23/03/2025 10:18

I have this with DH - we’ve been together for 20+ years and I realise now that he’s almost certainly neurodivergent. I wish I’d reversed out of the relationship at the beginning.

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