Should I be paranoid or am I looking too much into this?

[Readyornot62]

Been with my husband 14 years. He was with his ex for around 4/5 years before me, let’s call her Eve.

In the first year of us dating he cheated on me with Eve and we separated, we eventually got back together after him apologising and saying there was no more feelings there.

Over the years I’ve seen Snapchat’s pop up on my husbands phone from Eve, sometimes he would also send her snapchats. There was one time I opened it and there was a love heart and I told him I didn’t trust him and this couldn’t happen again. He apologised, blocked her and said he would never speak to her again. This was 5 years ago.

My friend knows of Eve and told me around a year ago that she has a new partner but she keeps him very hidden, no mention of him on social media and he’s also not from this area so nobody knows him.

My husbands iPad was sitting out and I went onto Facebook to look at something else and he had searched eves profile and her new partners. He has absolutely no contact with anyone relating to her from their past and the partners name isn’t anywhere on her Facebook so I dont know how he’s been able to track him down?! Why is he looking at their profiles?!?

I don’t know what kind of replies I’m looking for, I suppose I’m just sad I’ve found something else.

It could be curiosity and him having a nose but add it all together and he sounds still very caught up in her still.
Would he leave if she wanted him back? I’ve had men hold sparks for me long after our relationship has ended and they never seemed interested in their new partners so I couldn’t be with a man who is like this.

I’m not 100% sure he would leave but I don’t doubt he would secretly message or even meet up. I do think he still holds a spark to be honest, even though he told me how unhappy he was with her.

I sympathise with you, it's not nice to see. I think you need to confront him and ask him why, otherwise it'll eat away at you.

I think you just should never have got back with him after he cheated on you with her in the first place. Surely you're always going to feel like he'd rather be with her and that you can't really trust him? You can keep bringing it up but he's never going to admit he's still interested is he? Especially now she's with someone else.

I would also be paranoid, especially the fact he has form. I’d mention it, purely because if it was me, I wouldn’t be able to hold this inside, it would eat me up! But I’m also not sure what I’d be gaining from asking, because I doubt he would be honest about it if it was due to him missing her.
If he says he was just curious, then I would take that as an honest answer and forget it, but if he were to start a row or deny it, then I would say he’s probably guilty if harbouring feelings for her still. Sorry you’re dealing with this, it’s a horrible situation for you

I'll have a nosey at exes on Facebook every few years, and at their partner's account. It's interesting to see what they're like. So it could be harmless.

Your problem is that 14 years on from the initial infidelity you still can't trust your husband. And I don't blame you, this is why I could never be in a relationship with someone who cheated on me.