I am so lost in life and I’ve let things go so far let myself go so much I don’t know how to get me back and my life.
I met my partner 5 years ago should have saw the red flags then but I choose to ignore them. I worked ft in a well paid job I was renting a house off family that I was told I could buy when I was in the position to so life was going well then I met him. I fell pregnant quickly and my full pregnancy was a nightmare I had his ex harassing me the whole time and him going back and forth to her telling her personal things about me he used to use the excuse he had a child to her and only talked to her to see that child etc she would then contact me in anyway she could to hurt me I can’t even say everything she did to me but it was horrendous. I stayed with him as I was pregnant and guess just really vunrable at that time. He continued to run to her after every argument we had even after we had our child anyway fast forward 5 years I don’t have a job he made me quit my job when I was on may leave and due to go back said I had to choose between it and him as he was jealous I used to date someone in the work but it was years ago so now am reliant on him financially I have tried to find work and been in work since but none has worked for me to stay with childcare. He is in a high paid role and told me to stay at home till our child was older etc but constantly goes on at me about money. We had a big argument and he said some horrible things to me about my appearance and sounds silly my shoes I can’t afford new trainers and the ones I wear are done but I don’t have money to replace them and I do feel embarrassed wearing them. He’s stormed out says he’s miserable with me and he won’t be back. I don’t even want him back truthfully but I don’t know what to do I don’t even have money in my bank. Just posting on here looking for advice on how I build my life up again. I used to be so independent.