Why has he been acting like this?

[strange25]

Ended our 15 year marriage nearly two months ago, still living here until he finds a new place but has been more affectionate since telling me he’s not in love with me than he had prior to that.

I'm stupid for allowing it I know. He still reckons it’s over despite feelings still being there and the usual I’ll always love you stuff.

WHY?

Are you asking why he is acting is the way he is, despite leaving you?

hmmm something’s off ..how do you just wake up one morning after 15 years of marriage and decide to break up with your partner. He’s guilty of something and is hiding something hence why he’s acting this way.

He’s acting like this because it suits him to act like this. He’s doing it because he can. He’s doing it because he doesn’t care about your feelings at all. If he did, he would have left, not be hanging around torturing you emotionally. But “why” is not a helpful question. “Why” just leads to you expending mental and emotional energy on him when you need to be detaching. It leads to you hanging on when you should be cutting free.

The key questions are “what is he doing?” and “how do you feel about it?”. You know this is bad for you. What can you do to detach? Can he leave? If he’s got somewhere to go, it would be good if he went. He feels like he holds all the cards. Stop engaging, OP. Take some power back.

Trying to worm his way back into your good books?

Why did he end it? Any signs of an affair/emotional affair?

Potentially the OW wasn't interested, so he's trying to patch things up with you?

To get a shag if he fancies one.

Or because he feels guilty (or is cowardly) and doesn't want to feel the consequences of splitting up while still living together so if he keeps you sweet and hopeful, you're more compliant and cheerful.

It's because he's happier.

He's probably been building up to telling you it's over for months, maybe even years. And now he's done it, and a huge weight has lifted from his shoulders. It's a lot easier to be affectionate with someone when you're not stressed out.

And if he can get a couple of no strings shags out of you before he leaves, then so much the better for him.

He probably does love you still and care about you but not as a partner. He’s on his way out and he has a time limit on living with you - he’s able to see his next steps. He’s able to be affectionate as he has told you he’s leaving and doesn’t have probably that weight on him. Even tho you lived together you have right to tell him to leave now. Having him around isn’t helping you close down the relationship and is delaying your healing. He’s living there now as it suits him, it’s on his terms and timelines. As painful as it is personally, I’d tell him to leave that he has to find somewhere else to stay now. He has to move his day to day things out. Not sure if you rent or co-own, but if you rent you will need to tell landlord who will do a financial assessment to ensure you can afford to live there - so make sure you can / have another housemate to live with you. If you go own - get legal advice now. If you have joint accounts make sure those are closed uo and monies / savings moved fairly. Good luck.