I’ll keep this short as I don’t want to post anything that will give me away.
ive been with my dh for 5 years, we have a 1 year old together and he has a child from another relationship who is 8.
our relationship has unfortunately turned completely toxic since we had our child.
At first I felt I was doing everything with the baby and step child. His excuse was work to begin with but I had to return to work early and it’s still the same.
there’s too much to post here about what’s happened but I feel a shell of myself.
I find myself crying when I see happy couples or hearing about how my friends are getting married, buying homes etc.
Ive always dreamt of getting married and having more kids but I feel now I need to settle so that I can see my child all the time.
I moved an hour and an half away from my family for him and now I feel trapped.
I sit on my own when my step child is here and feel completely isolated and lonely. Most evenings when I put my child to bed I just go and sit in our room.
we argue all the time and he says I’m abusive.
I’m honestly starting to feel like an awful person and that I deserve to just hide away in our house when they are all there together including my own child as I don’t feel worthy to be round them as maybe I am a horrible person.
a big part of my struggle is I do pretty much everything round the flat although he would disagree.
He says I’m a nasty and horrible person and has pushed my body or my head a few times in arguments.
he laughs when I say it’s abusive and says that I just am.
Im no angel and will argue back.
I can’t bare the thought of leaving my child with him 50% of the time.
I put such a front on for everyone but inside I’m dying to tell people the truth.