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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Big argument- serious subject

3 replies

ForBrickSnake · 21/03/2025 21:04

Not sure how to explain but here goes. after a discussion with my children, where the subject of child abuse came up (there was something on the news) I repeated it to my partner who completely blew his top because he's fed up of always hearing about this subject- due to myself being affected as a child. It's true this has caused problems in the past but I try to keep things to myself. I've had counselling plenty of times but find age does not improve things. I find myself wanting to blurt out everything to my kids and all my family (only a few know). It's as if I tell myself to keep quiet to keep the peace which I think I have possibly to my detriment. You are told not to keep secrets but on the other hand please don't say anything as it will upset people. I told my husband I don't expect him to fix it but also I don't have a manual explaining how to deal with it. We are now not talking in separate sides of the house.

OP posts:
SquareHeader · 21/03/2025 21:25

He’s an arse.

SatyrTights · 21/03/2025 21:32

Are your children adults? If not, I don’t think ‘blurting’ anything to them is ok. What do you want from telling your children and family members? I was abused as a child, and though DH and a couple of close friends know, it’s not something I talk about much outside of therapy. It doesn’t help me, and it’s traumatic for other people. My parents don’t know, for instance.

Littletreefrog · 21/03/2025 21:34

As a fellow child abuse survivor blurting things out regularly to your children wether they are adults or children is not great and you need to seek some help so you have an appropriate person to speak to.

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