Any books about a vulnerable covert narcissist? Friend's situation.

[DucklingSwimmingInstructress]

Genuinely a friend's, my own ex-MiL is a rather opinionated but lovely hearted woman and straight as a die.

Friend's MiL is a different kettle of fish.
She is meek and mild and loving on the surface, but she rules the household with a silk-covered rod of iron, is highly manipulative to everyone including her grandson, places her own needs above everyone else's, is all about the appearance of love and kindess instead of the genuine article, and when angry will wail and scratch herself complaining how cruel her family is 'when all wants the best for them, they matter more to her than life itself' all night until the dawn comes.

Friend is finally stepping away after 20 years of this but is baffled by it all and doesn't understand the dynamics of what's going on, even while it feels very wrong to her (specially as the MiL is manipulating friend's son).

Does anyone have the name of an easy-to-read book about covert vulnerable narcissists who play the 'poor me' card while placing themselves and their own perceived wants above anyone else's needs? "Why does he do that" seems a bit heavy duty for my friend, so something a bit less intense that she might actually be able to read would be good.

Maybe Susan Forward's Toxic-in-Laws. MIL sounds like she's either an Engulfer or a Controller type. It's an easy to read book, with some reasonable tips on how to handle these difficult ILs (taking emotional and physical distance is a good way to go).

The manipulation of the kid isn't good though, that should be stopped. What does the H say about his mother?

Great, that's ideal, ill get it for her.

The husband loves his wife but has had a lifetime of being manipulated by his mother so it's not easy. From the outside it looks like the MiL has by now pushed it to the situation where my friend is fighting for her marriage to get her husband to put her first, since the MiL is determined to be dominant.

It's an awful shame as my friend comes from a culture where parents are revered and started off doing a lot for her MiL, but MiL demanded more and more and more until my friend either had to become subservient or to fight back.

Haven't got any specific titles for books apart from 'dating Harley Quinn ' maybe not appropriate for MIL but Quora site if you enter covert narcissistic behaviour will bring up lots of information including some good literature for information and understanding of the dynamic.

Thank you, Ill suggest that. I know rather more than I want to about the behaviour myself but couldn't think of any easy-to-read books! It's the first time she's come up against it (knowingly at least). Said to her that she'll see the hallmarks of it in more people now she's seen it once.

The classic is Debbie Mirza on covert narcissism.
it’s very enlightening.