"contraception is a woman's responsibility"

[tinseltits21]

What do you think of the above statement? My sister's new bf apparently said it to her. I haven't met him yet but she says he's lovely and really good to her - consistent in communication, plans nice dates, listens to her - she can be emotionally vulnerable with him and vice versa etc but this seems a bit red flaggy to me? I guess women are responsible for taking the pill if they are on it but I do think the man has a part to play! She said he uses condoms if she asks and doesn't make a fuss (one of her previous partners did). I know it's none of my business really but I am interested to know whether I am overreacting by thinking he is being unreasonable with this.

I think it depends on how it was said - technically , socially, it IS predominantly a womans issue because men don't step up enough.

However, if he's saying it SHOULD be predominantly a womans issue then that would give me the absolute ick.

How old is she? She sounds so naive. Ovulation dates can change for many reasons. There’s loads of different types of pills and no way would she have tried them all. There’s also the coil. Are you sure she’s not secretly planning to conceive and hoping it will be a ‘surprise’ baby for her boyfriend?

and hoping it will be a ‘surprise’ baby for her boyfriend

Shouldn't be too much of a surprise to him if he's not bothered about taking responsibility for not becoming a dad.

Obviously he'll blame her, but he has the ability to prevent it in his own hands right now.

I think they’re both pretty stupid around contraception TBH. If she doesn’t want to get pregnant, then she needs to use a reliable method - which she isn’t. If he doesn’t want to be a father then he needs to use a reliable method - which he isn’t. I hear the patter of tiny feet coming along by the new year…
Oh, and in reference to the comment ‘it’s a woman’s responsibility’, I would qualify that with ‘it’s a woman’s responsibility if she doesn’t want to get pregnant’.
What’s the problem with women not wanting to take responsibility for their own bodies to prevent pregnancies?

It should be both, but come on, we all know that the one who’ll conceive has to be the one taking the ultimate responsibility, that’s Mother Nature for you.

It's the woman's responsibility while casually dating in a sense that she can't really trust a random man telling her the truth about his infertility/vasectomy.

In a committed partnership it should be shared responsibility - they agree the methods and accepts the related risks together.

It seems that in the described case they skipped the discussing and accepting related risks part.

Huge red flag. Contraception is everyone's responsibility. There was a time when i would expect a man to have a condom in his wallet but at least in uni someone always had some and no-one batted an eyelid if you knocked on their door asking for one. Its not one persons responsibility, safe sex benefits everyone. If he can't be mature enough to carry a condom with him then he won't be mature enough to deal with the consequences of unprotected sex.

In an equitable relationship one would expect to negotiate a mutually satisfactory option, but ultimately the responsibility for contraception falls to the person who is most anxious to avoid sexual intercourse resulting in conception.

Gives me the ick.

Probably the sort of creep who refuses to wear condoms because they are 'uncomfortable'.

A mysoginst.

Pretty clear red flag.