Weve been married ten years and have 2 boys, 8 and 9. H was an organ donor to the eldest.
To be honest, he always been quite shit as a husband and it's only since reaching peri that id checked out of the relationship. He typically plays on the Xbox all day, spends what little money we have on thinking he's going to be the next big thing in crypto. You know the type.
I asked him many times to be an equal partner as the full mental load was on me, which includes many medical appointments for my son and caring for his complex health needs. He always said he will pull his socks up and when I mentioned it would be easier for me to be a single parent, he would throw the transplant back in my face and say how horrible I would be for breaking up the family and how he would be devastated not to see his kids every day.
Well, 2 days ago he's asked me for a divorce. I'm happy enough with that as we only rent and have no assets, but now not seeing the kids doesn't seem to be a thing any more. He's looking at moving to his brothers or his friend who are both at the opposite ends of the country to us and he doesn't drive.
I'm not bothered, but it just shows how they leverage these threats doesn't it. Fact is, if he wasn't arsed about spending time with them and being an active part of their lives over 9 years, why would now be any different!