I really don’t know where to start and I don’t know why I’m here. I’m just very alone.
i have 2 teenagers and a 7 years old from a previous relationship (they see dad all is fine)
I have a 9 week old baby with my new partner.
we have our own houses as we was deciding what to do living arrangements. Which house to keep or sell etc etc however I’m so glad I still have my own house …..
during pregnancy he turned into a total monster. I was so alone. Sometimes he’d be somewhat around and looking forward to baby other times he was verbally abusive, neglectful and generally cold and cruel. I was stupidly hoping he’d get better when baby came.
he was at the birth and was fantastic in the hospital and seemed a very proud dad.
obviously it hasn’t lasted
he has a bad temper with everything. From road rage, to rage at work, and rage with me
he takes his moods out on me. He’s not once helped in the night he goes to sleep at his own house. I’m exauhsted.
he has told me I’m fat (baby weight) and to start walking more. He’s told me I’m an ugly bitch he’s told me the baby deserves a better mum and I can’t give him a good up bringing because I’m not good enough. He’s told me I’m the biggest mistake in his life and that I snore like a walrus just all sorts of awful stuff. if I buy baby a new set of baby grows or anything to wear (with my own money) he tells me to stop spending on shit the baby don’t need. I bought baby a propa big teddy thing for his pushchair as mums do again with my own money and he was annoyed at that and said the baby doesn’t give a shit about that stuff. I just can’t do nothing right.
he says I’m lazy and I do nothing but I’m looking after 4 children. School runs. Newborn night feeds. The house. Cooking. Cleaning. I still work from home on my laptop part time for myself.
I literally don’t stop. He’s not allowed me to enjoy this new baby stage I’m heart broken.
he tells me whatever man I get next will leave me
I’ve told him it’s over. He keeps asking to see the baby but I’ve told him I don’t want him here or around me whilst he’s being abusive and calling me names and his reply is “I don’t say these things for no reasons it’s facts”
I’ve told him it’s abuse and he needs to stop and he says “you feeling insulted isn’t my problem” just let me see my son you silly cunt.
honestly he’s just a monster. I asked him if he could help me a bit this week money wise as I’d been and bought baby milk and everything and he called me a greedy cunt and told me to budget better.
honestly I don’t know what to do I am so so low and so sad. He’s made me hate myself. I should be enjoying my baby and this special time.
because of him calling my appearance I’ve hardly been eating so my milk supply has gone down so much so I’m having to use formula now. I’m so lonely and so sad
I’ve told my family and they don’t take it seriously at all
my teen girls are my best friends they are my rock. Bless them.
I give 100% to the kids I don’t do anything for myself I don’t know why he is so cruel to me
I tell him please stop I’ve just had a baby and he says I’m deluded it was 9 weeks ago I’ve not just had a baby
I’m exauhsted and depressed and I don’t know how to go forward :(