I'm in a predicament here where I'm really confused. I moved 330 miles away from home to be with my husband. Fell out with family over it for many years until recently. My family themselves have had issues with my husband and I always put his feelings first and protected him. I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant with our 4th un expected child. Have 3 older teens. I feel really lonely and confused. His father I use the term loose is sabotaging our marriage. I dont know if I'm being irrational. With our other 3 children he's been in and out our family life (the father in law) only time he needed us is when we had to get him from the airport after his relationship broke down in crete (using my birthday funds and without warning he just called out the blue to pick him up and put him up) I sorted a flat and job for him paid for everything with the kids being toddlers at the time. We'd see him occasionally and all was semi ok. The last 5 years have been hell. He at 68 then was with a 24 year old and using heroin. For 4 years. Cut my husband out his life for 2 of then years. Anyway that relationship failed. He then played on being house bound. Playing emotionally with my husband. To the point me amd my husband had a 4 month break up where he stayed at his dad's and him himself ended up smoking heroin put himself on a dating website. And apparently had a fling with another use the term loose girl. He came back here said it was mental health etc and we "resolved things" we have been ok the last few years since then I've helped loads with getting him help. But everything had to involve his dad. I had to do everything for his dad to. His dad is now 72 says he's house bound. Is fine to be on social media all day or sleeping. Dosent move from the sofa sleeps on that to. I was doing his shopping online for him. Husband was doing his cleaning for him. Everything basically with no thanks. Anyway he's finances changed he was awarded a benefit attendance allowence. He wanted a pair of crutches I sorted that he never used them. A bath chair and slip mat. He's never used them he wants my husband there when he bathes. On the days planned he changes them. He wanted a mobility scooter but moaned they was to expensive. He wanted a disability car but realised his money dosent let him have that so wanted my husband there all the time to get his cash out etc. Anyway. We found a cheap car. He bought it. I had to tax it. Get a new battery for it. Insure it. We even had to fill it with fuel for him. Now all of a sudden he's not house bound he's been out alone alot which is good. He was spotted in the next village at night. Where they sell drugs but told my husband he was bored and just had a drive. He still won't do his own shopping wants my husband to do it with him miles from here? He never comes to see my husband and we are litterally a 2 second walk he's like 8 houses away. Husband has to go to his. Me and hubby had a fall out. 3 weeks ago because I was fed up with basically spending every evening there with them drinking. His dad shouted at me said I'm disgusting and hubs should leave me. I'm horrible. I'm selfish.alot more disgusting stuff. And my husband didn't defend me at all. I had some truths back. He locked me out the flat for 2 days so I couldn't talk to my husband. Blocked my number etc so I couldn't talk to hubs. They even told other family members not to answer my calls or the kids. They are alos my life line if i needed to get to hospital for any reason. All cut off. Hubs eventually came home. Never said sorry. Just said he'd visit his dad 3 times a week for a hour a time. I thought it's am improvement. But I feel so bitter. I have no trust in my husband there because of the other girl living on that block to. I'm not allowed near there his dad said. I found tin foil in my husbands coat he says I planted there. I've said why can't his dad come here? Hubs just says if he dosent bother his dad won't visit or call. So if he knows that why does he bother? It all erupted again last night. I think it's so he can use it as an excuse to drink and stay ages later as its his dad's birthday today. I just don't get why i get no support and he wants to be there all the time? Knowing full well his dad uses him and wouldn't bother with him if he didn't go there? He's never even bothered with his birthdays etc in the past (his own dad) his dad knows full well its destroying our marriage he was sitting and smirking at me when hubs told me to f off at the window a few weeks ago. Any advice on how to approach this with the husband better so he can understand I feel alone used unwanted I can't trust him there. I'm pregnant and I think his focus should be us as a family and his dad should come here to see him? Or maybe it's something we can't get past? Hubs blames me for the anitial argument and although he was sat next to his dad when he said this baby would be better dead. Dad's denied it point blank and hubby "didn't hear". Everything is my fault apparently. How I act what I said etc. His dad said vile things dosent bother and he's the golden boy!