'Don't separate from your partner in the first year after having a baby'

[Cinai2]

...for the reason being that you're both in the trenches and not thinking straight, plus hormones all over the place.

I'm wondering if that's true? If you were pretty sure your relationship is over a few months after having a baby but you stayed, did things improve later down the line and are you glad you stayed?

It started in pregnancy with me; he completely morphed from what appeared to be a normal human into an angry bitter selfish twat almost instantly from the first scan.

If you want to leave him
And you know that you'll be happier without him in the home get rid of him now
I'm SO glad my ex walked out just before baby was born so I could be properly looked after by family postpartum and protect myself from him legally

I think every relationship is different and people have to trust their gut that they know what’s best for them. But what I would say is don’t assume that how your relationship is in the first year after having a baby is how it will be forever.

Now if your partner was a total knob before you became parents, chances of him becoming and staying an even bigger knob are probably quite high. But if you had a solid happy relationship before baby, it will almost certainly be rocky to start because it’s an incredibly stressful time. But that solidness will likely see you through to calmer waters.

Dh and I have been together 17 years. The only time I’ve ever thought our relationship might not survive was around the time our first child was 9 months old. Never questioned our relationship before or in the decade plus since. But it was rough for a few months.

I left when my twin DC were 6 months old. Took next to nothing with me.
Never regretted it.

Interesting perspectives…my baby is 6 months now and most of the time I just wish my husband would walk out on us and never return. The times when I’m alone with my baby are truly wonderful, but as soon as he comes home it’s constant criticism how I’m doing things, why I don’t do things differently, belittling, wanting to have his way with everything but leaving all the hard stuff like night feeds to me. Plus occasional outbursts which keep me walking on eggshells all the time. I think my life would be so much better without him, but it wasn’t always like this. He once was a kind and caring man, things went to shit during pregnancy and I’m not sure if it’s because he worries and panics (I suspect this plays a part but he’s very closed off) or if he’s just not the man I thought he was.