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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Cheating boyfriend

15 replies

Amy199008 · 18/03/2025 00:14

Hey I been with my baby daddy for 3 years beginning of our relationship he cheated on me. I’ve decided to give him a chance. We had baby last year June. 2 weeks ago I saw text messages in his phone he was inviting a girl to his house and she was letting him down because she wanted a date not only inviting to his house. I was so hurt and I ask him what is this? He started to blame because I went to his phone. I’ve put myself In dating app 3 days ago and he found out. So he wanna break up with me and I did this because how he made me feel it was good guys giving me compliments it shows I’m not ugly. He is keep cheating I feel less of a woman I don’t have a confidence in me . I feel like there is something wrong with me. I love him and I want him but he is keep hurting me

OP posts:
Beamur · 18/03/2025 00:16

Break up.
He is not a keeper.

Sodthesystem · 18/03/2025 00:28

Honey men like him will only ever make you feel 'not enough'.

The truth is, he's not good enough for you.

He's the sort of person who will never be happy with what he has. Because he doesn't love anyone. He's just not capable of it.

Get him dumped.
But please get off the dating app too. Other bad men can sense women who are hurting and will exploit you.

And he will also use this as a stick to beat you with. He will say 'well you cheated too'.

Please don't try to use other men to make you feel better. What you really need to do is to get rid of this vampire who is making you feel insecure and unloved because there's something fundamentally missing in HIM.

You are not the problem.
You feel awful because this horrible man is sucking all your lifeblood away and telling you you are wrong to say 'ouch'.

The dating site was stupid but don't waste your energy trying to excuse it to him. Take this opportunity to get rid of him. Let him think it's his idea.

It doesn't make anyone 'less of a woman' because a man cheats. Men cheat on everyone. Just look at the number of gorgeous celebs who had mediocre men cheat on them with mediocre women.

Life is short, don't waste it in a toxic relationship.
Love yourself.

melonalone · 18/03/2025 00:47

Get rid of him, get rid of the dating apps and focus on your child.

MsDogLady · 18/03/2025 01:08

@Amy199008, please remove this cheating, abusing Pig from your life. He is cake eater who is compelled to pursue a harem of women to prop up his pitiful ego. You have discovered two incidents of infidelity, but there will have been more. Monogamy and loyalty are not in his vocabulary.

If you value your emotional health and want a happy, stable future for yourself and your child, you will send him packing and work on strengthening your self-esteem (minus the dating apps). If you want an anxious, unsettled life of degradation, keep him around.

I wish you well, @Amy199008.

FrauPaige · 18/03/2025 01:54

@Amy199008 I feel for you. These guys can seem really charming and attractive and we get hooked on them but they are not one-woman-men. He started the relationship with cheating, produced a child with you, and is still cheating. Worse still, he is controlling of you.

He will never change, he will never be committed to you, he will never be considerate of your feelings, and he will never stop hurting you.

It sounds as if he lives separately to you, so splitting up should be logistically straightforward - and this is what you should do.

mellongoose · 18/03/2025 06:05

Be by yourself with your lovely baby for while. The men are making you feel worse.

Onthemaintrunkline · 18/03/2025 06:13

My advice for what it’s worth….forget him and you most especially don’t need dating apps, yet awhile anyway. Learn to be enough on your own, show your child what a strong independent woman looks like.

Amy199008 · 18/03/2025 22:49

Hey he just told me he can’t be only with one woman. I feel so heartbroken he mislead me for 3 years 💔💔

OP posts:
MsDogLady · 18/03/2025 23:10

I’m so sorry, @Amy199008.

He is a self-serving sleaze who has deep character flaws and thrives on pursuing multiple women. This loser will not be a faithful partner to any woman.

Kick him out and keep him out. Also, you need to get an STD test.

Amy199008 · 19/03/2025 01:15

I feel so sad and down. I know he was horrible to me. This man gave me two choices we will be together only if he can hook up girls I should be ok with that. I feel so hurt like dying inside

OP posts:
Devianinc · 19/03/2025 01:26

Amy199008 · 18/03/2025 22:49

Hey he just told me he can’t be only with one woman. I feel so heartbroken he mislead me for 3 years 💔💔

Why do you have double heart emojis

WhyCantIGetItTogether · 19/03/2025 01:26

Baby daddy. Yuck.

Devianinc · 19/03/2025 01:31

WhyCantIGetItTogether · 19/03/2025 01:26

Baby daddy. Yuck.

Lololol

Amy199008 · 19/03/2025 04:22

That’s a broken heart emoji

OP posts:
category12 · 19/03/2025 05:28

Amy199008 · 19/03/2025 01:15

I feel so sad and down. I know he was horrible to me. This man gave me two choices we will be together only if he can hook up girls I should be ok with that. I feel so hurt like dying inside

Sorry you're feeling rotten.

Tell him the relationship is over.
Just co-parent with him.

You'll be better off mentally and emotionally if you do.

It's a choice of
short term pain of breaking up
vs
long term misery and basically self-harm of trying to keep him.

Dump the fucker already.

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