50/50 and finances.

[Aussiebean]

Could you please tell me how you and ex handle finances with regard to children.

I have said I will look after the expenses, and we can put the child benefit into one account with regular and equal top ups from us. He wants regular updates on what has been spent and the statements.

so what is the usual state of affairs when we have to pay for swimming, scouts etc.

he is very controlling, so my desire for him not to scrutinise everything i do is strong. But I want to at least be fair.

Honestly, I would not be doing any of this joint account business and scrutinising statements. Fine if he is a supportive co-parent, but nope, he sounds like a controlling knobhead. You each buy things when they are with you. For big expenses, like school uniform and shoes, I’d buy it and send him a photo of the receipt for half or he can do the same. You each pay for certain activities. If he decides not to pay for Scouts, they stop going.

This. Honestly don’t get into joint accounts and all that convoluted crap. Agree what each of you are paying for in terms of extra curricular activities. Uniform and big expenses get split 50/50. Keep it simple.

My friend and her ex use split wise and put everything they buy for the child apart from food and bills at home and holidays into there - they settle the balance each month. It's great if you're on the same page about how many pairs of trainers the kid needs and what they should cost.
If you want to just agree it's for extra curricular and friends bday parties etc that could work and you do clothes in your own houses. It's impossible to be totally fair though and eveyonen will have a different view on which things should be budget (eg primark shoes or Clark's?) and which things should be pay more for higher quality or fashion reasons