Can things change or is my marriage dying ?

[IncognitoBaby]

so abit about myself. I am 33 and husband is the same. We have been together 16 years and married for 8. We have gorgeous two children under 5. He is a lovely man, great dad, loves us all deeply and looks after us all. I should be happy but why don't I feel fully satisfied? I know things go stale after being together for so long but we don't communicate unless it's to do with the kids. I feel like we are more like friends than a married couple. I have told him this and agreed that we will both put more of an effort in.. now this is all good for a few days then goes back to how it was and am fed up of having the same conversation. I find myself jealous of other people's relationships who idolise their partners and do things as couples and actually have fun. Over time he has become quite negative about everything and moans a lot whereas I am a happy bubbly person. On occasions where I meet up with friends and they bring their partners I would love to that but I know I couldn't as one he wouldn't want to and two I would feel like I have to sit there and be with him all night instead of socialising.

Now on this subject please don't shoot me down because I am no oil painting and have my imperfections however, he has stopped looking after himself to an extent.. yes he gets his hair cut regularly and grooms his beard however, he has put weight on which fine I aren't bothered about but what does bother me is he says he is unhappy with his weight but when I have asked why doesn't he try to lose weight he says he loves food to much. Things that made me insecure such as wrinkles I had Botox for which he moaned about however he just doesn't seem to want to improve himself and look good for me when I spend a lot of time and money trying to look good for him and myself although he claims this isn't the case. I fantasise about having my own places and starting again firstly focusing on my children and career then hopefully having the excitement of meeting someone new. Sorry for the long post but has anyone else been in a similar situation and what was your income ?

You were together a long time before you had your children, what things did you do together then. Is it possible to do those things now if you can arrange childcare. Or is there anything new that you could try doing together, outings, fitness, new hobby or even the occasional overnight stay to break the monotony and have some couple time.
Promises made in the heat of the moment are likely to drift back to the usual behaviour unless an agreed plan, something appealing to you both, is made.
It sounds like your DH is stuck in a comfortable rut. He’s probably so absorbed in family life that he’s forgotten how to be a couple within the family.
I’d avoid making comparisons with your other couple friends. Things are not always what they seem on the outside and they may even envy you having a steady, loving husband. You say he doesn’t want to socialise with friends. Are these people who you have always socialised with or are they new people that he wouldn’t normally choose to hang out with.
Would you say he has changed. You describe yourself as happy & bubbly. Was he once like that too but has now changed since becoming a ‘family man’ or have you met new people who are perhaps more image conscious & exciting.
You say he’s becoming more negative; is that perhaps a reaction to you talking about how wonderful your friends relationships are. Could it be making him feel that his qualities as a partner aren’t as valued as theirs.
I suppose we all daydream from time to time but your fantasy of a future with your children, career and other new beginnings IRL won’t necessarily pan out how you imagine. He may want the children 50/50. Is there any reason why you can’t have a career whilst in this relationship.
A new career & partner are of course possible if that’s what you want.
Im not sure what income has to do with this. People of all economic backgrounds experience relationship challenges.
It sounds like your relationship is built on solid foundations. Only you know if it can evolve further into what makes you both happy.