How do you actually leave?

[NotQuiteDone]

As my username says- I am probably not quite done but I probably should be. I could post numerous incidents here from my 17.5 year marriage but mostly from the last 12 years (how the f is it that long?!) that I know would lead to a fairly unanimous and justified chorus of LTB but I don’t know how.
How do you actually “kick him out”? He would not leave voluntarily so maybe I would have to take the teens and go. We could move in with mi dad maybe. I don’t know.

A lot depends on whether you’re married (I know you’ve said you are) but whether you own your house or are in rented, who’s working, how are your finances organised - shared or separate, what’s the the set up with childcare, etc.

Such men rarely if ever leave willingly because he is not bothered and would rather go around moping to others that she left me. Are you still there cooking, doing his washing and cleaning up after him?.

I would seek legal advice asap re all aspects of divorce particularly if you have not already done this. It may be that you will not have to move out with your children into your father's home.

we are married, mortgage on the house, kids aged 17 and 14 would want to be with me. Both employed. We are overall very fortunate and could likely figure out finances- obviously we’d be a bit less comfortable with 2 households rather than one.

Yeah -speaking to a lawyer is probably a sensible thing. I don’t think I am ready bit for my daughter and son, the current situation is just not a good example or model unless he really changes and he is unlikely to.

Please be careful about just leaving , my sister did this 8 years ago . Thinking that years later they could amicably sell the house , not the case he refused to sell . So preferably get him to leave or see a solicitor prior to leaving and get something drawn up between the 2 of you .

ok- thanks - maybe emailing a lawyer would be a good first step even just to sound things out for myself and begin to make it real and see where my head is at.