Anyone else have experience of a dh who changed after marriage-for the worse.

[peacelily]

Me and dh were together for 6 years before getting married and he was lovely. Don't get me wrong we had our fights but he was so passionate about our relationship and about life.

Now we're married with dd he's still caring and v good with dd but just so ratty and irritable all the time. He doesn't seem to have any motivation to sort out our relationship. He complains all the time, moans about being tired but does nothing about it and iis basically just letting himself go. His compltet inability to cope with any of the challenges in life (such as sorting the garden out) does really bug me but I try to keep my mouth shut as I know he's stressed.

Trouble is I feel like I'm simmering with resentment, I feel like I've been tricked I married this fun, warm, funny man and we really were best friends, we were known for being so close amongst our freinds. Now he just seems locked away in some emotionless prison and only communicates with me to ask questions about dd or bark orders at me.

Anyone else have a dh who "changed" once the ring was on your finger?

Is it marriage that has changed him or having your DD?

Who knows, I thought it might be having dd at first but now she's 20m everything is so much easier. Or at least I think so I don't think any amount of tantrums and wilful behabiour could be as bad as those newborn days. Dh doesn't want another dc this upsets me as I want to start trying again soon but obviously we won't as it's not fair unless both of us want to.

I just get frustrated with him , he complaons about being tired but wants to stay up until midnight each night watching crap on the telly. He drinks a few cans of strong lager several nights a week has started smoking again (this really makes me ) and doesn't do any excercise becaise he doesn't want to go running on his own. As a result he's tired, unhealthy and hungover a lot of the time.

could you get tough and give an ultimatum- eg. get yourself sorted, or we are finished? Is that what you want to say?

I don't want to have to resort to that hls but sometimes I think it's heading that way. I'm not the sort to just "make do" and I don't want to talk to anyone irl about this because I'm fairly private about such things (added to the fact that everyone where I live seems to have near on perfect partnerships and I don't want to seem like a freak). My little sister has told me quite clearly not to tell my parents as hearing about my relationship difficulties upsets them too much.

I do have fantasiea about me and dd living in a flat somewhere just the 2 of us away from his continual griping and complaining and bitching. Can't quite seem to realise it though, don't want to give up on what was once something great just yet.

Is he depressed?

is he competing for attention with your 20month old?