I ‘35 F’ need advice on navigating a relationship with my colleague ‘35 M’ who is involved with another woman and needs time to think about our relationship.

[Melisa1988]

I’m a 35-year-old woman seeking advice regarding a complex situation with a 35-year-old male colleague. Over the past five-six weeks, our interactions have evolved from professional to personal, and I’m uncertain about his intentions and our current status. Our Initial interaction started When he was preparing to leave the company, he began showing significant interest in me, showering me with attention. He eventually stayed on as a colleague as his job offer got cancelled however and our relationship continued to develop mostly through texting. We became intimate once during the period we were both thinking he would soon leave the company. Three weeks into our relationship I asked him about our relationship’s direction. He stated he would think about it and need some time as he was thinking he was leaving the company and things been messy at work for him etc. Again around two weeks later I told him I feel like I'm in a limbo and it makes me uncomfortable which he replied to mentioning that it's too early and he needed time to think and didn’t have immediate answers. He said he genuinely likes me and thinks about me however if I wasn’t happy, we should consider stepping away. I said I would be happy to wait if he needs more time. Two days after I asked about his relationship with another woman I met at our company’s Christmas party. He described their relationship as “on and off.” I expressed (honestly this was my immediate thought after he confirmed he still meets that lady) that "I should be more realistic and stop hoping for better days then". He then accused me of being dramatic and having preconceived agendas, which felt dismissive. I mentioned that his response felt like gaslighting. He hasn’t replied to my message for the last two days. I’m deeply saddened and feel that I’ve been too pushy, considering it’s only been five-six weeks since we started talking. I fear I’ve terrified him and that he now perceives me as a drama queen. -How can I approach this situation to gain clarity without pushing him away? Note that he hasn't replied my last message for the last two days. -Is it reasonable to expect exclusivity or clarity after such a short period, or am I rushing things?
Note: He's divorced with a son who lives with him three days per week.

Even reading your title alone I say walk away and stop giving this man any more of your time or attention, have a bit more self esteem and walk away from this.

Don’t be someone’s option when you can be someone else’s priority.

You started talking and texting, then you slept together after 3 weeks. After that you wanted to know your ‘relationship direction’ - then you have asked him again and about another possible partner he might have. All in six weeks.
I am sorry, but I think you have been getting very ahead of yourself, and a bit intense.

Maybe he is being selfish, maybe he only wanted sex, maybe he is a player, it doesn’t really matter. You do not know this man at all. Move on.

I think you have your clarity. He ignored you for 2 days. You don’t do that to someone you want to be with. Also, 5-6 weeks is long enough to decide what you want. An another woman in the scene is just disrespectful.

Yes, he thought he was leaving to go to another job, fancied you and thought he’d shag you before he left. Only then he found out he wasn’t leaving! So is pulling away. Let him go!

Bloody hell, it’s devastating how low some women’s bars are.

He's playing the field OP and you are only one of his current options. Unless you're okay with that situation, and your post indicates that you aren't, I'd step away now. He likes you, but he also likes the other woman and who knows who else? He's a player.

In the old days this was called leading people on. Stop giving him all the power and move on of your own accord without needing his say so.