I told myself it wouldn’t happen, yet here we are.

[pinkwillowtree]

Before we had children, I was warned by my friends that relationships massively change for the worse. I naively thought ‘oh that won’t happen to us, we’re too strong’ etc etc. I knew it would change, naturally and obviously - but did not think it would be in a negative way.

Well, here I am 5 years later wanting our old relationship back. I know we are tired after running around after 2 kids each day, but my husband just isn’t the same person anymore. He was so romantic, caring, empathetic and now he’s snappy, argumentative and the level of sympathy has seriously decreased. I’m not perfect at all either, and I’m sure I’m those things a lot of the days too.

Even simple things I miss, like no longer lying on the sofa having a cuddle, where we would use to do this daily. I always mention the changes, and he always says how much he loves me etc but that he’s just tired , but I don’t know, I just miss it that’s all :( slowly feels like we’re becoming best friends who live together instead of romantic partners.

Does it get better after the kids grow up a little?

Yes!

Hang on in there, and try to do things with the kids that bring you joint joy in the meantime.

Find ways to treat one another- a coffee in bed with an extra 10 minutes is priceless.

Ours are all grown up now, and we’re in our second honeymoon stage!

This is why majority of relationships end after children come into the picture because all of a sudden it isn’t about you both anymore the kids always come first. It’s all about sitting down and having a proper chat about this and making a plan moving forward so your relationship can get back on track. You guys don’t need to split up, you gotta fight for your relationship. trust me it’s bloody hard as i’ve been there myself but communication, making an effort & finding out the other persons love language goes a long way. you got this girl!!! :)

Tonight once the children are in bed, sit next to him on the sofa and snuggle up. Try and bring some of that closeness back. It’s good that you’ve realised things are slipping, hopefully together you can both make a little more effort for you both as a couple.

It does get better, but it takes hard work. Definitely worth it though, as you end up with a great relationship and great kids!!

It does take a bit of work sometimes, especially on hard days. I always try to let everything go when the kids go to bed and enjoy the evening with DH. Ours are 9 and 10 now and I think we navigated it pretty well.
Its getting harder now, because they wanna stay up longer. But we have a 20:30h bedroom rule. So if they wanna stay up, they can do so in their rooms. This way DH and I still get some time to ourselves.

No not always.