Do relationship “breaks” work?

[karma1979]

Had a break from my BF last year around this time - prob just two weeks NC. Same issues again a year later. So is this a sign we’re in some sort of cycle? He seems to “up his game” when I go quiet on him. Then will likely slip into the same rut. Anyone had a successful “break” in a relationship and come back stronger or should I knock it on the head once and for all? 4.5 years - don’t live together, no kids.

I had a break and we came together perfectly but we had so such going on with family deaths that we needed space to deal with things. It wasn’t because of silly issues that kept repeating.

Your situation sounds childish. Going quiet for him to up his game is just that.. a game of cat and mouse. What’s the end goal? Sounds like you could be flogging a dead horse unless you both want to get serious.

What are the issues? It doesn’t sound like a break worked, just deferred things down the road.

It’s difficult. He has very serious issues with ex which means he hasn’t seen his kids in a long time. But the way he has handled
it means that he is forever waiting on resolution to do x y z. So I don’t feel he is often very present or engaged. Until he think I’m done then he tells he has done something proactive about it. So am I in essence keeping him in his rut by being a crutch?

I never saw the point of a "break".

Either stay together and work through things, or break up, surely?

Just end it for good and don’t let him crawl back this time.