Should I date a friend when I know its not going to last?

[zourzerry]

Last year I ended a long relationship and moved to London. I am 31 and due to start a masters degree in the autumn. In London I have been spending more time people I was at University with 10 years ago. One of them was a guy who I've always been close to and who pursued me at university but who I always evaded because I was already with someone and I kind of knew him too well, I loved him and enjoyed his company as a friend but I knew he was the type to become madly infatuated with a girl, be totally loved up for a few months then lose all interest. He's very good looking and charming, woman just love him and true to my estimation of him he gets into these intense relationships which are all over as soon as they start.

So as we've been spending a lot time together since I've been in London and he's been at it again, trying to get me to go out with him and I'm thinking, should I just do this? I mean I don't expect it to be a long term thing, I'd be going in knowing what kind of guy he is and that it wouldn't last. I wouldn't be able to fall in love with him but it would also be nice to be close to someone as it can be lonely down here and there are still months to go until my course starts. It also feels too soon for me to start dating again seriously as I'm not that long out of a 12 year relationship

My other concern is that I'd want us to be able to remain friends after it was all over. In a way he feels safe because I know him well and he'd not a bad guy he's just not a long term guy. I'm not ready for he apps and all that but I would like to be close to someone again even for a while.

Hmmmm not if you want to stay friends at the end. But if it would not be a huge loss… then go for it.

@fourelementary You don't think we could stay friends if we both agreed from the start it would be a short term thing, a kind of spring / summer fling? At the moment he's all talk about how I'm the one he's been waiting for yada, yada but I don't believe a word of it to be honest but its nice to hear.

Would you have a conversation about remaining friends should the relationship fail, before getting involved? I know you know that it will but from what you’ve said he seems oblivious to his relationship pattern. Does he remain friends with his exes? (He must have a lot of friends 🫤)

If you think neither of you will get hurt, go for it.

@Lurkingandlearning I think he knows what he's like but he'd always convinced that next time it will be different and it never is! Yes I think we would have a conversation prior to doing anything, we've already been talking but he is the one who thinks its going to be a fairy-tale ending rather than me. He is still friends with some of his ex's others may well have a voodoo doll of him covered in rusty pins they hate him that much

If you're going in with your eyes open then I think that's fine. I would be more worried about him getting hurt if he's already built this up.... If you really like him then tell him you need to play the field a bit first to make sure you're not rebounding but will check back in at regular intervals.

I think you know what you want to do deep inside. Listen to yourself and just do what you feel like doing. Also don’t feel pressured, don’t be afraid to talk to him about your concerns and feelings. It is your life, make yourself happy, you don’t owe anyone.

Just looks like a disaster waiting to happen to me.

You should actually want to date the guy, not be being persuaded/pushed into it. He wants more than you want to give. It's just going to get messy.

Stop seeing him so much and work on building other friendships.

No.

Well if you’re sure you won’t fall for him , I’d go for it ..
Nice to have company, everyone knows that …
He’s obviously a serial dater , well like once he’s not entering into it , hoping you’re the one ..
I don’t know OP 🤷🏻‍♀️Talk to him I guess ..
Well done starting a masters degree btw 🙌..
Have a fun Spring/ Summer x