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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Perimenopausal

2 replies

Mache71 · 14/03/2025 21:44

I’m currently going through it! So many things, anxiety, physical stuff, so much anxiety. My other half is also not being easy. I’m not easy myself, but we have children, and our children are our world.

He is possibly on the spectrum, can see that now, but his sex drive is too much for me now but some of it is his insecurity. He feels that’s the only thing that keeps a relationship. He has to have it 3-4 times a week. Once upon a time so could I but I’m exhausted now, some evenings I want to relax but it’s true I have lost a lot of my sex drive and could quite happily do once a week and that would be more than enough.

i love him, he can be wonderful but I can no longer keep up with his demands for sex. He wants anal at times. and at the moment I can’t honestly do it. It’s bad enough having all this menopause stuff going on, teenager, and older primary children, 2 on the spectrum. I work my own business, part time and it’s physical. I get what he says that but I really don’t want it as much.
I’ve become quite cold, and not affectionate but he does go on and on about sex so much that it just irritates me now.

is counseling worth it? I think we need it, we just bicker over this all the time. He went off in a huff earlier, I apologized but some nights I just want us to chat , have a laugh and not constantly go on about sex.

OP posts:
Itschristmasssss · 14/03/2025 22:33

Your body, your rules OP. End of.

jsku · 14/03/2025 23:25

Irrespective of him - have you talked to your GP about peri and your options?
For me - HRT made a huge difference and allowed me to continue to mostly feel like myself. And eventually adding testosterone to my Esteogel - helped with energy and libido.
But - do it if YOU want and need it.
Once a week is totally normal. He can help himself on the other days.
i have no idea how you even managed 3-4 tines a week with several kids and a job 😳😳😳

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