How to get through these years parenting years unscathed?

[Andabottleofrum]

DH and I have been together 18 years, married for 11. We have two DC, 8 and 5.

We live abroad and have had no help. We have had just one night out just the two of us since becoming parents- about 3 years ago when my mum came to visit. It’s been relentless.

And our relationship has really suffered. We used to have so much fun. Now it’s all about the kids and I don’t feel like we have much in common anymore. He barely touches me unless he wants something. Which isn’t even that often, the last time was just before Christmas.

I can’t imagine things going back to the way they were once the kids are older.

I would really love to hear stories from people who have been through a rough patch while the kids were small and came out the other side.

I think to be honest you just need a break and some time together. Is a babysitter a possibility?

I agree with the first reply. We didn’t have any family help but paid for babysitters often.
If this is not possible for some reason, find a fellow parent and agree swaps to give each other a break.
My neighbour did Tuesdays with her mate so one week she’d babysit and the following week her mate would so they could do something,
anything without the kids. Often it was just was just a walk locally or an hour in the pub. The point is that it doesn’t need to be much just something you look forward to .

Have got to agree you need a bit of time together. Worth investing in a sitter I think