Honesty or support in friendship

[BlueRaincoat1]

I have struggled in the past with knowing how to balance this with friends.

If a friend is having a rough time and wants support, but you disagree with some of their behaviours, do you offer support and say nothing about your opinion (as your opinion isn't actively being sought) or do you say something?

For example, if someone in their life wasn't being great to them, and your friend spoke to that person in a way that ypu thought would only further antagonise and escalate matters and which you found a bit much - would you say something?

Or if they were suggesting a potential change of direction professionally bit you really didn't think it would be a good move (for v good reasons) do ypunsay so and best their enthusiastic bubble. Or be a good friend by being supportive?

Bump, sorry about typos above

I value honesty without judgement in friendships. But it depends how close you are and how your relationship is generally.

Depending how close you are I'd say both honesty and support are fine, as long as the honesty part is done with kindness.

Most people don't want advice but equally it's hard to watch a friend making bad decisions. I think the best policy is to ask first if they want your view. Then state it in the most delicate and diplomatic way possible

Thank you for the replies. I agree that personally I would be open to some advice if it was offered with kindness. I think in general here the advice wasn't wanted - as they clearly could have asked for it. But I worried that I was being dishonest by not saying what I really thought.

Be supportive regardless of what you think of their decisions.
But gently hint at how you see the situation.
Think of it as a buffet. You can give advice all you want, but don't shove it down their throat. Just put it on the buffet. They don't have to take it and that's fine. If they do, great. But don't expect them to.