Have you split from partner but continued to live together?

[Chipstick]

I just wondered if it is possible to work?

Nothing in particular has happened, my husband & I have simply come to the end of a relationship. I love him dearly I'm just not in love with him. He won't discuss anything, so I've sent emails explaining feelings but nothing has changed. His total lack of communication is unbearable. We can sit in silence for hours upon hours with any conversation being started by myself & ended by him with a one word answer.

If it wasn't for the children I would be asking for a divorce. Nobody close to us would ever guess there was a problem as we're very private. I'd hate the children to have us live in seperate houses etc and to be honest we don't argue/shout (that would be communicating!!) so it would be easy to live in the same house, different bedrooms & share the childcare.

Anyone any experience of this??

chipstick your dh sounds just like mine, i think it's a common male problem isnt it, all the women on this thread are married to the same man!!

if you pose the question to him, it will probably come as a total shock to him, which might do him good.good luck on thursday

hello chipstick
this is my first msg on mumsnet and reading all the above strikes an exact chord with me. I have just written about 500 words and deleted them all, but basically i have 4 kids - have been married 16yrs and wish a 1000 times over i had left him about 13yrs ago. Nothing will change - i am 41 and yesterday felt suicidal about living the rest of my life in a situation similar to yours. No conversation, not even close friendship. I make every offer of companionship and interest but it is so so wasted on him. Friends have told me for years to leave him but as no violence is involved (only horrid mental cruelty) i find it hard to act. Have been so worried about upsetting kids but if i dont get away from him I will go mad - this sounds like a joke but my head and heart cant take anymore.
I have no answers for you just huge empathy for what you are feeling.

Welcome to mumsnet Wildwillow .

I'm so sorry to hear how miserable & upset you are. Life must be tough enough with 4 kids yet alone an unsupportive other half. It is so hard when children are involved isn't it. Even if it wasn't for mine I would have been out of here last year but as it is we have to make it work and I think some huge comprimises will have to happen.

My husband is so good in many ways - he does most of the childcare on top of a demanding job, he does all the ironing yet I would happily take on all those jobs for a really good laugh n chat everynight about our days/lives/plans.

I doubt anyone has a magic answer but carpe diem, life is too short and I will hate to look back in 10 yrs and think I've been miserable all that time.

In answer to op, no I don't think you can (am doing just that now and can't wait to be able to move on) though it depends on your circumstances. If you were close enough to be real friends you would probably not be separating in the first place and pretending to be friends in the same house is deluding yourself and the children really.

@Chipstick
I know this is an old thread but I'm in the same situation and I really want to know if you still live together @Chipstick ?