"Open to Children" On OLD

[rubberduck68]

I always swipe left on men in their fifties and sixties who select re. children, “Not sure yet” and “Open to children,” on dating apps (I am mid-fifties). Discussing with married (and dating) friends last night, and the opinion is that some men think that "Open to children" also means “Open to dating someone with kids.” Is that true? Have I been swiping left on potential matches, or am I correct in thinking that they mostly want to match with younger, fertile women?

I think it means they will date sometime with children

Agree with PP, yes, they will date someone with children

I always thought the ‘open to children’ meant wants to have children. That’s how I’ve always seen it and I’m always surprised to see it on older men’s profiles.

Yep, a difficult one to decipher!

I always think of it as they're happy to meet someone who has children.

I avoid men who day "don't want children" as I assume (rightly or wrongly) that they are not interested in a woman who has children.

Woah I always thought it meant they are open to fathering more children! It shocks me that I see it on 50 year old men’s profiles.

I think it means ok to date women with children. There’s normally a “would like children” option too isn’t there if they want more of their own?

It's clear as mud on most apps because the definition of "children" doesn't separate making babies with dating someone who already has kids. Also there's the "not sure about children," which is tricky. This is as confusing as people "still figuring out their relationship goals." Although the cynic in me always interprets the latter as "shagger." 🙃

I was catching up with a ex not too long ago and he was chatting shit about how he wants to get married and then have kids ‘one day’. He’s eternally single and pushing 50.

This is how I see it. They are open to having them but really they’re too old and think they are 20 years younger than they are.

I also think it makes them believe they’re more attractive to women 15/20/25 years younger - bless the deluded fools

I always read it as if you want kids then I'll consider it, but its not a deal breaker.

I interpret it as 'happy to date someone with kids'. I always swipe left on 'don't want kids' as assume they'd be hostile to me having multiple small ones!

See, I always swipe right on otherwise good matches who "don't want kids," as I presume it means they are not wanting to start a "new" family!

It’s obviously not a clear message as we seem to all interpret it differently.

As a 50 something, it was an immediate swipe left for me as I took it to mean they’d be happy to have more kids and therefore looking for younger.

Personally anyone who still has school age kids is a no for me as I’ve done my time revolving life around school holidays and have no desire to go back there or plan my diary around someone else’s childcare.

I think it means happy to date someone who has children. It wouldn’t occur to me it meant happy to conceive children.

Looks like it's confusing so probably worth swiping on them and asking the question 🤔

I have done that in the past and got frustrated with how coy the responses were from the ones defo trying to shag younger women. Did have one nice man say, "No, I am not embracing my full Mick Jagger," which was quite funny, but overall they are fishing for younger women, but loathe to admit it. I'd like to just start swiping left on anyone over 50 who is "open to kids" or "wants kids" to avoid these chats, but worried I'm misreading it, whilst instinct says I'm possibly not.

I think that’s a bit unfair. I know of many women who had babies at 40-44 or so. I wouldn’t judge a 50 year old man for saying that he’s open to having children.

Agree with pp, just have a conversation. Worth swiping right on anyone you fancy the look of, and sort the rest out by chatting!

I am not judging a 50 year old man for wanting children; I am trying to decipher the language on the datings apps because I don't want more kids.

As far as I remember, when you fill this question in on the apps you answer about whether or not you would like to have your own children. I don't ever recall it being worded in such a way, on any dating platform i ever tried, that it's asking if you'd be open to dating someone with children...

I assume these men are looking to have sex with younger women and will say what they think (most) women want to hear.

I had an ex boyfriend who had answered with "open to children". He despised kids! When i asked him, many, many months into a relationship why he had put this on his profile, he admitted it was because he didn't want his pool of potential matches to decrease 🥴

Yes! Did we date the same man?! My ex admitted quite late in our relationship that he was "too selfish to have children" but that he'd had to keep his search options open online as women without children were too small of a pond for him. Urgggggghhhhh.